New Mommy

We’ve made it a month! Well, it will be a month tomorrow, but whatever!

It hasn’t been easy. This little nugget hates sleep, has some tummy upsets and can cry like no tomorrow. I’ve slept little and learned lots.

I’ve also begun to notice I have a list of “essentials”

1. Rectal Thermometer- All you see are the forehead ones in the stores! Luckily our hospital gave us one as a parting gift. Not only is the temp easy to get- but it will also aid in helping your little one poo!

My baby strains so hard sometimes. She isn’t constipated at ALL but she is horribly gassy. Her Dr says she hasn’t gotten the hang of easily passing wind yet and she is essentially pushing against a locked door when her rectum clenches. I never thought in my life I would be talking about a butt hole or telling you to stick something up one- but there it is folks. I was amazed during some of the worst straining moments how much that little thing helped.

2. White vinegar- Ya know, the cooking kind! For over a year I’ve used it in out dish washer to keep my glasses shiny and spot free! I’ve recently begun adding it to my laundry. I read somewhere that adding a half cup when doing towels will leave them spa ready and not smelly. Imagine you have loads and loads of spit up covered clothing, towels, burp cloths and blankets. I’ve been using Dreft and adding a little baking soda and white vinegar to the mix. Little one’s things come out with less soap residue- which can bother their skin-, less spit up stains and a fresher feel and smell! Woo!

3. Boppy Baby lounger- Seriously ya’ll. Of all the things I received- this is one of my favourites. I was initially disappointed because I didn’t get one at my shower but my Dad sent it as a welcome baby gift!

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(PS. I snagged the picture HERE. You can go there to read all about this pillow!)

My kiddo loves this thing. Although I think I may love it just a little bit more. She will happily sit in this during her wake time. She’s comfy and protected and it lets me have a little bit of hands free time. I’m actually able to fold laundry, read, make a phone call or some other normal tasks with her safe, sound and happy!

One of the things I really love is how easy it is to clean up a mess on! Little one had a spit up issue last week that caused puddles under her. PUDDLES. That in itself is awful but I was also upset at ruining my best friend.. er… I mean lounger. But one I had grabbed up my little puker, I was easily able to wipe up this mess with a burp cloth and give it a quick wet cloth rub down to remove anything yucky. It didn’t even leave any stains! (Might I suggest the geo pattern? it’s light blue, yellow and cream- it’s basically camouflage for baby gross spots..just sayin’)

Oh and did I mention that this thing is also great for parental use. I know it’s not supposed to be but this new mama will find uses for anything if it makes life easier. My kiddo loves to lay on my chest. That’s all fine and dandy-we love snuggles! But one can only spend so much time sitting in a chair or on the couch. Sometimes I miss my bed. But, alas, my bed doesn’t have a headboard and my pillows are fluffy clouds, making propping up a HUGE pain sometimes. I’ve found that if I place the lounger on a pile of pillows it makes the PERFECT cradle for my head, neck and shoulders. Cuddle time is SO much more comfy now!!!

(I seriously wish I had gotten the breast feeding pillow now!)

SO those are some of my favorite things. I’ve also learned a lot!

1. My kid will switch formula preferences a million times.
2. Samsies with bottles- so don’t go crazy buying a certain type!
3. Unless you know for sure that you’re kid is going to be big- Ignore folks who tell you to stick with larger sizes. At a month old my kiddo is still in newborn sized clothing and diapers. I wish I’d stocked up on more of those before!
4. Stick with burp cloths that have a towel-y feeling side. Those soft cute ones will work- but not as well.
5. People will buy you TONS of clothing. Most of it will never be used. Especially if you have a kid during an in-between seasonal change. I’ve got a ton of great clothes with tags still on them that it’s too cold or too warm to wear now. If you can’t return them- look for a place that will let you sell to. I wish I had left tags on a lot of the things that she won’t be able to wear!
6. All those manufacturer groups? Join them! It might seem like a hassle- but I’ve found it to be very helpful. Enfamil sent a 5 pack of on the go powders. Similac sent 2 8oz cans of formula and a 4 pack of ready made bottles and a coupon booklet. If you use the coupons and are a member of their website you get 5 points per coupon used. When you reach 35 points they send a coupon for a free $16 can of formula. Also, those coupons are good pretty much wherever! I took ours to Target. You can only use one per purchase but it allowed me to get the 32 oz bottles of prepared formula for $1.99 a piece. That adds up QUICK. With the 4 coupons they sent I’m able to get a lot of the more expensive stuff I would like for less than $10! And then there is Pampers. If you sign up for their rewards program you get certain points for the codes sound on each product you purchase from them. This goes for even the big packs from Sam’s club and the like. It works a few different ways.

1. The points vary per item. You can accumulate points and redeem them for a ton of things. From shutterfly packages to toys and all sorts of things!

2. If you enter 1 code a month every 3 months you get a gift. The gifts get slightly larger each month and include things like extra points, Shutterfly items, egift cards and toys for your child! If you like free stuff than this is where to go. The catch is you have to enter one close a month. You can’t miss a month or it starts over. You can obviously enter as many codes as you want during that month, but just don’t forget to put a new one in next month! To make sure I don’t forget I wrote 12 codes down from a huge pack of wipes someone gave us and set a phone reminder. That means any additional Pampers products I enter is just icing on the cake!

More soon! Time to take the kiddo from Daddy!!

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Don’t stress- Easier Said Than Done!

Sorry I just cracked myself up!

The last few days have been… a doozy.

Hubs is still in mega pain with his back. He popped a rib out and it still isn’t feeling better a week later. Poor guy has to sleep on the couch. Ugh..

2 nights ago while arranging the mountain of pillows on our bed I noticed one was VERY cold and damp feeling. As I tend to think very cold things feel damp, I let it go. But it bugged me. The wall and back on my bed felt damp too. We may have seepage coming in through our wall. I don’t even want to imagine what that will entail to deal with. Frankly I can’t even right now!

Yesterday I went in for my normal weekly prenatal appointments. First our normally upbeat Ultrasound Tech made her first notice that I might have TOO MUCH fluid around baby. She reminded me this could be bad so naturally my stress began to build. In the end she remeasured and it was fine- albeit on the higher side of the spectrum. I followed up the ultrasound with an OB appointment. This was pretty much where things went downhill and fast!

I mentioned to the nurse that I had gained 10lbs in a week. 10lbs y’all. OMFG

I was concerned because during the entirety of this pregnancy I have gained VERY little to no weight and in 1.5 months I had topped out at over 25lbs heavier. I had also begun to notice that I was having carpel tunnel issues in both hands, minor swelling in my hands and feet and that I was having nausea/vomiting issues. I knew the gaining had to be water weight because I was eating the same diet style as chosen by my dietitian and probably LESS than normal. By blood sugars were low as heck. My fasting number yesterday was only 58. I didn’t take insulin all day and never topped 115 if that goes to show you how off my body is! She wanted to let me relax for a few minutes. Don’t stress, she would be back shortly!

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Dr G poked around, asked tons of questions and then dropped the bomb on me. She wanted to send me to the hospital. She was concerned for me. My BP- which is irregular at best, was high. Very High for me. 146/104. Eeek. So I toddled out and off to Labor and Delivery I went.

For whatever reason I am generally an upbeat person in sucky medical situations. I assume this has to do with growing up in a family that spent a lot of time in and around hospitals. Laughter can be the best medicine I guess. As pessimistic as I can sound on here- I’ve been told in a hospital setting that they wish they had more upbeat patients. So strange. So I did what I always do and kept up an upbeat chatty conversation as the poked, prodded, tested and exposed my body.

I ended up having an on call Dr that I was familiar with, thank goodness. I had seen her during the kidney stone ordeal.

After a few hours of waiting my results came back. While LO’s heartbeat was a little on the high side, she was active and seemed perfectly fine. I on the other hand am now showing signs of preeclampsia. YUCK. After a lot of medical jargon the Dr was *insistent* that I follow up with my Dr on Monday. Not Tuesday when I had a previously scheduled appointment. It HAD to be Monday. Uhm, okay..

She then dropped the bomb of bombs. She said, as I would be 37 solid weeks next week, that Dr G needed to take Monday to plan my birth and induction and that I should plan to be delivering next Thursday or Friday.

*Cue total and utter shut down of my brain*

That’s sooner than I had planned. By a few weeks. Of course my body would go and make something insane happen. They cautioned me not to get stressed. They put my on modified best rest until LO is here.

Don’t stress? Really? I am a worrier by nature and then you lump all of the past week and upcoming week on me at once? Good luck.

In the end I insisted I had a few errands to run as my last week as a non mama. We also took the time to splurge and had a wonderful (and expensive) last hoorah dinner. I enjoyed ALL the foods just once- because gosh darnit, I NEEDED it.

We will see what Dr G says next week. I’ll keep y’all posted!

What Not to Do & Say to a Pregnant Lady

I’ve been around a lot of pregnant ladies in my life. Honestly, until I became one myself I never realize all the annoying things I did and said. Maybe it’s just me and I’m more conscious of it now, who knows?

1. Don’t Touch: People LOVE to touch a baby belly. Frankly, I find it weird. You wouldn’t just want up and touch me on the street if I was any other person. Granted there are some ladies that don’t care- but to be safe, always ask! I know myself, I don’t dig touchy feely. Luckily only 2 or 3 people have touched the belly besides Hubs. Mostly I’ve just sort of grimaced around the awkward moment. Especially when you are a plus sized pregnant lady. Sometimes our bellies form strangely or don’t show soon- your poking my muffin top does not help.

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2. Don’t comment in size: One of my biggest fears was becoming an even bigger blob. I mean, sure, I would do anything to make the kiddo happy, but..ya know. I’m a big girl. I was worried people would comment on my already big size. Instead I find the opposite happens. For a long time people would look at me, make comments on “how small” I am. No one really believed I was as far along as I was. I’ve popped enough now, but for a while it was frustrating to be compared to other people!

3. Due Dates: This is almost a continuation of the above. People are always asking when I am due. Usually when I give them a date they exclaim, “Oh! You’ve got a long time!”. Actually it’s just under a month. Not all that long, considering. But Really, we don’t want to hear your thoughts on how much more time we get to struggle and wear a fat suit. No matter how early or late in the pregnancy we are. Zip it. In the beginning of pregnancy I hated hearing “Just wait till you are further along! You’re so early…” or “Oh, you look miserable! But you still have x amount of time”. Thanks.

4. Unsolicited advice: I get that everyone things they know better, but unless I ask or we are holding an open dialog about it- keep your opinions to yourself.

We finished the nursery this weekend. Or at least 95% of it. There are some storage issues that I will surely tweak a million times between now and then. Hubs moved my recliner into the room yesterday. I’m fairly certain I spent several hours sitting in her room napping, sorting and just hanging out. I feel a huge sense of relief that should I go into early labor, she would have a place to come home to. I can not wait until it’s warmer out too. Hubs plans to move the last remainder of his tools out of the closet space when it get’s nicer. Please, please get nicer soon! I would VERY much like to have more baby storing space. It’s pretty much a necessity at this point.

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Losing Weight, but Not Losing ME

This is something I struggle with every time I start on this journey. I start with these super strict rules and ideas. In the beginning it works. Towards the middle I start to rebel against all my chains. I begin to feel like I’m losing myself as a person with all the rules I’ve set.

The thing is, I WANT to be healthy, happy and fit. The problem is inside me. It’s the way I was raised, the habits I formed and the ideas in my own head that are my own worst enemy.

As we know, back in the end of July I had a lot of struggles- mentally and physically. If I’m totally honest, I gave up. I just stopped.

But here’s the difference between all those other times and now- I accept my failures and I’m working through them one at a time. I have a tendency to want results NOW. I pile on a million changes that I simply can not handle. So.. that needs to change.

This month I embraced that change had to happen again. This time I’m not overloading myself with too much at once. I believe in baby steps. This week has been all about really looking at the food I’m preparing. Am I deluding myself into thinking something is healthy when in reality it isn’t? Probably. I took some time to refine a lot of my recipes and ideas.

– Less sugar- I don’t use sugar as a rule. However we all know there are hidden sugars in many natural things we eat. I’ve also taken steps to lower my use of artificial sweeteners.

– Change those carbs and fats- I’m working on learning and swapping good fats into my diet. I’ve also been working to change complex carbs to be my only carbs, mostly.

-Eat Clean

These are all things I know. I know this is a life style and for me it will always be a constant uphill battle. My FIL has issues with alcohol. They stem back a long time and he was finally able to control his demons and become a clean and sober person. During a period he had a Doctor who said he could consider working alcohol back into his system. I was pretty floored by this doctor. A medical professional telling a patient that he could go back to his demons. I was pretty judgemental in my head about this. Then I realized I was no better than him. I am a person that likes rich foods. I enjoy “treats”. My problem is that I can’t control them. Telling me I can eat everything I want in moderation is basically like handing a junkie a syringe and telling him he can only use 1/4 of what you gave him- doesn’t happen.

So, I’m trying to work this all out while still being true to myself. No more fronts, no more masks, no more lies.

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I also wanted to talk about another subject.

I’ll start off by saying I am not a die hard “Biggest Loser” fan. I generally don’t care about TV stuff, so it’s never been a favorite. I have, however, been a fan of Jillian Michaels. As many of you in the process of getting healthy may have seen, there was a big ol’ scandal with Miss Michaels recently. Girlfriend broke the rules of the show and gave her contestants caffeine pills without doctor approval.

She stands by her decision, but I have mixed reviews on this subject. She claims they are so much safer than lots of coffee. Here’s my deal. 1. She broke the rules and doesn’t really seem to care. 2. She knowingly hurt her team in the scheme of things. 3. I get that this is a whole publicity stunt to garner some possibly needed boosts in ratings.

I think what shocks me is her lack of caring. Also, caffeine pills are AWFUL. In my younger, and more stupid, years I took those types of pills. Often it was because I didn’t have enough stamina to make it through a hectic life style. Or simply because I wanted to burn faster and stay awake until insane hours of the night. But here’s the problem. You crash and crash hard, OR you need a downer for that upper. As an overweight person taking these I had nasty reactions. I would feel my chest POUNDING even in a sedentary state. I would push myself to the point of making myself ILL when I went to the gym. I had mood alterations- going from a generally calm person to shaking and nearly manic. Sorry, that’s not safe, AT ALL.

I was a hard core lover of JM. I saw some cool results on her shred but never felt like I could keep up. I feel like this incident has burst my bubble.I’m curious what the rest of the fitness and health world thinks on this subject. Do you all take supplements, how do you feel about the way she handled things, Is there something safer out there you’d recommend? Lemme know!

Oh, today’s drill!

Today:

Breakfast: 1/2 avocado mashed + 1 large egg cooked + 1 slice whole wheat bread + 8 oz hot herbal tea

Lunch: 2 left over 1 oz meatballs + 2 cups mixed greens + oil/vinegar

Dinner: Broiled white fish with lemon and dill + 1 cups zucchini noodles

Snack: 1 medium apple & 1 Tbp natural peanut butter + 1 cup air popped popcorn & sprinkle of pumpkin pie spices

Exercise: Pretty limited-sorry. 15 minute workout including 5 min cardio, 5 minutes Strength, 5 minute abs. I repeated this twice. I’m not using a video or guide. I’ve taken moves that I have seen to improve my body in the past, a good play list, some weights & resistance bands and a pillow for the floor. I’ve been doing this for the past week every other day. On my days off I’ve focused on specific areas of my body.

This is a shirt I need for my cardio portion. I’m trying to run a bit.. it’s.. well it’s a funny thing.

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Round and Round , Here We Go Again

Hey y’all!

Boy, do I have SO MUCH to talk about! It’s been crazy recently. There are a lot of things and thoughts going on at the moment. I can barely keep up with myself.

First off: I have been trying very hard to get myself on track. I’ve made a lot of discoveries recently that contribute to the continued trial and error of my health. When I first started this journey I was counting calories. I did really well on this for a while. However, as soon as life got more hectic, I soon found myself skipping entries and even fibbing on them. When I saw the pattern of fibbing I soon decided I didn’t care and stopped all together. The scary part is, I actually gained back MORE weight then where I started from this time last year. It’s humbling and shaming.

Another large issue I’ve noticed is the continued food issues I’ve had and have been ignoring. I think it’s finally time to see an allergist. I have been noticing a painful bloat when it comes to certain foods, but sometimes I have issues figuring out exactly what they are when I consume non-home cooked foods. I need help because this has led to a large amount of being sick.

I am also working on eating more home cooked foods. During the super hot summer days the rest of the household was not amenable to turning the stove on. There were weeks when I would eat whatever my MIL brought into the house. It usually almost immediately made me throw up.

That said, I’ve set some new goals:

– Eat more real fresh food, less processed garbage

– Stick with my portion controls

– Stop spending so much time calorie counting, spend more time finding healthier option

– Eat more small meals throughout the day

Here are some of my meals lately- nothing super amazing but yummy. I’ve been enjoying home made soups, salads, venison, wild rice and such!

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I’ve also discovered these super yummy protein power bars. Perfect for when I’m craving that bagel-ness.

(butternut squash soup + venison sausage + wild rice) ( leftover soup + mixed green salad with balsamic) ( 1/2 oz reduced fat cheddar + 1/2 protein power bar + 2 tsp  whipped cream cheese + 1/3 avocado)——-

Another thing going on in my life is our impending move.

We signed our lease on a new apartment 2 months ago. The woman that was living there gave a super early notice, which we later found out. She then opted to use her right to remain in residence until the end of her lease which was this Monday Oct 1st.

If anyone knows me, they know this stressed me the heck out. I’m a bit OCD when it comes to being organized and in charge. Being on someone else’s time table basically turns me into a nut case. In the beginning of the summer when we first thought we would be moving (and later found out they rented that place out from under us..grrr) we rented a storage space. We’d been hitting up estate sales and flea markets in search of some Mid-century furniture that would suit out taste. That space is now full and has some to us passing on some really amazing finds. My storage unit is a hell hole that is equally stressful to me,

Flash to this week. When I last spoke to the landlord last month she gave us a tentative date of Nov 1st, possibly a week earlier if everything went smoothly. When we spoke this week suddenly out move in date has been moved up to NEXT WEEK. HOLY HELL. If ya know me, then you know that I tend to pack my suitcase a week in advance for a vacation, so in this sense my mind thinks I am already behind! I spent 6 hours yesterday doing small things. Packing unused weekly clothes, sorting through a mountain of papers that needed to be shredded or filed. I packed up anything small that I could. My room looks like a nightmare. I have bags, boxes and goods in every nook and cranny,

Suffice to say, we are moving in a week. I don’t have linens, bathroom anything, moving boxes, tape or well.. half the crap I need. I’m stressing out and I have no way of getting around and doing anything myself in the days before the move. I need a chill pill.

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Body in motion.

This is another massive issue for me. My body is not bouncing back from the things it’s undergone recently. I’m having a lot of discomforts. It’s distracting and discouraging.

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this previously, but my family has a lot of instances of Multiple Sclerosis(MS). A few years ago I was approached because of this to join a study program. Basically I signed myself up for 20 years of services. It mostly amounted to answering long questionnaires and giving DNA samples. No big thing. Occasionally I receive articles on some of their findings based on different aspects of the study, I’ve received some weird things recently that have started my head spinning. In one study that they did on causes, I had all but ONE of the 20 or so aspects they consider high risk. In a more recently study they discussed smoking, teenage drinking and obesity. Ding ding ding. I rang all those bells too. They’ve learned that those things have contributed to accelerated diagnosis age. It freaks me out a lot. I watched 3 people I love waste away from a merciless disease. My mom died from complications, my aunt who only turned 50 last week has been in a nursing home for YEARS, a cousin is barely a shadow of his former self. I love in constant fear that that will be the life i live and thus subject my hubster to. There are days when I have “symptoms”. The thing with MS is its not super easy to diagnose and many of the symptoms or signs are often overlooked completely or attributed to old injuries or other illnesses. Some days I noticed a marked weakness in my hands and arms, other times I will have constant muscle spasms in my legs that make it almost feel like I am walking on Jello filled limbs. Other times I find myself in a mental “fog”- losing track of a sentence, saying the wrong word, forgetting a thought I just had seconds ago. There have been times when I’ve thought of something and opened a browser only to find myself staring blankly at it with no memory of what I had wanted to do.  (Actually in a moment of hilarity I had another thought on this subject and I’ve already forgotten it. sigh). Anyhow I’ve never had any formal testing, mostly because I’d rather not know either way. Ya know? If I was symptomatic I would drive myself insane thinking of all the things going wrong. If I wasn’t symptomatic then I would probably feel like I was insane.

So, that’s the crp side of things..

I do have some fun things though! I’ve been playing around with pigment and I’ve made 3 of my OWN nail polishes. Two turned out similar and the other was not exactly what I had thoght. I need better pigments to use!

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In this instance I was hoping for more of a toasty brown. I hadn’t added the warmer brown color yet.

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This color- oh man. I ended up adding black to the finished product and it turned out MUCH richer than the picture. One thing I found amazing was how long it lasted. I used to paint my nails sometimes twice a week because my daily life led to cracked and chipped paint. Hands + hot water/cleaning products/oils = fail. However, with this polish- I did everything I normally do and then some and it lasted almost 8 days! Even when I decided to change it out, it still looked nice. The only reason I took it off was because my cuticles were showing a lot. I was utterly blown away by my first tries!

 

So, now you are all caught up, or mostly. I realized this was already insanely long, so.. yeah.

Hope everyone is doing well and staying focused!