Body Image

When I was young I never really paid a much attention to my “shape”. I knew I was bigger but it didn’t stress me out.

I realized pregnancy was a huge help to me and my confidence. As I got older my confidence has oddly waned. 2 weeks post pregnancy and I love my body again!

In 2 weeks I have lost 35 lbs. And the thing is- I’m not trying to. I’m just being me!

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37 weeks- the day before delivery

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1 week post partum

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Little Miss and Me today! She gets to meet her Papa tonight for the first time!

I feel so comfortable in my skin now, for the first time in years. It’s a work in progress. I’m 10lbs from my pre baby, miscarriages and stuff 2 years ago.

In other news… this kid. Lawd.

Let me give you an example of how my nights go…

Hubs fed, changed and held her till 12:00- She refuses to be put down.
12:30 she was up again with the toots and screams. 1am we had a HUGE poopy diaper. Like..Holy crap. She had pooped SO much that it was full on blow out- from and back. I wasn’t expecting this so when I pulled off her diaper she immediately stuck her feet in her poop and started squishing her toes. Oh god.

If you’ve seen Pitch Perfect….
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Mhmmm. Gross.

We managed to get cleaned up and about a half hour later she was comfortably in her bassinet again when I hear a gag and BOOM- baby puke! THis was actually the second time of the night for a spit up monster of epic proportions.

My poor baby and her tummy. She has been so fussy and gassy lately. This was clearly the final countdown last night.

I’m totally open to suggestions here. She isn’t over eating or even cluster feeding anymore. She’s on a sensitive tummy forumla supplement and breast milk. Poor baby fusses alllllll night and a good portion of the day.

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What Not to Do & Say to a Pregnant Lady

I’ve been around a lot of pregnant ladies in my life. Honestly, until I became one myself I never realize all the annoying things I did and said. Maybe it’s just me and I’m more conscious of it now, who knows?

1. Don’t Touch: People LOVE to touch a baby belly. Frankly, I find it weird. You wouldn’t just want up and touch me on the street if I was any other person. Granted there are some ladies that don’t care- but to be safe, always ask! I know myself, I don’t dig touchy feely. Luckily only 2 or 3 people have touched the belly besides Hubs. Mostly I’ve just sort of grimaced around the awkward moment. Especially when you are a plus sized pregnant lady. Sometimes our bellies form strangely or don’t show soon- your poking my muffin top does not help.

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2. Don’t comment in size: One of my biggest fears was becoming an even bigger blob. I mean, sure, I would do anything to make the kiddo happy, but..ya know. I’m a big girl. I was worried people would comment on my already big size. Instead I find the opposite happens. For a long time people would look at me, make comments on “how small” I am. No one really believed I was as far along as I was. I’ve popped enough now, but for a while it was frustrating to be compared to other people!

3. Due Dates: This is almost a continuation of the above. People are always asking when I am due. Usually when I give them a date they exclaim, “Oh! You’ve got a long time!”. Actually it’s just under a month. Not all that long, considering. But Really, we don’t want to hear your thoughts on how much more time we get to struggle and wear a fat suit. No matter how early or late in the pregnancy we are. Zip it. In the beginning of pregnancy I hated hearing “Just wait till you are further along! You’re so early…” or “Oh, you look miserable! But you still have x amount of time”. Thanks.

4. Unsolicited advice: I get that everyone things they know better, but unless I ask or we are holding an open dialog about it- keep your opinions to yourself.

We finished the nursery this weekend. Or at least 95% of it. There are some storage issues that I will surely tweak a million times between now and then. Hubs moved my recliner into the room yesterday. I’m fairly certain I spent several hours sitting in her room napping, sorting and just hanging out. I feel a huge sense of relief that should I go into early labor, she would have a place to come home to. I can not wait until it’s warmer out too. Hubs plans to move the last remainder of his tools out of the closet space when it get’s nicer. Please, please get nicer soon! I would VERY much like to have more baby storing space. It’s pretty much a necessity at this point.

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The Stone that Would Not DIE

Hiya folks!

Recap… Last I checked in that pesky stone was living large in my body on Monday. Christmas eve- 2 hours before family was due to arrive I was shaking in pain, hadn’t even moved from my bed, had stopped eating and drinking and spent a whole lot of time crying.

A return trip to the ER had me admitted this time. SO much for sticking out the holiday. I spent my entire Christmas in a hospital gown hooked to an IV. It was so depressing. Christmas eve I cried half the night. I was on heavy pain meds and had many tests. There were talks of horrible procedures. Some so awful I actually opted to stay in a day longer just to avoid the possibility. I’ve been home since Friday evening. I’m exhausted. I still hurt- though at this point I can’t tell if the pain is kidney, hip/back or constipation times 1000.

Real talk ya’ll… I haven’t used the potty in DAYS. Like.. A WEEK. Today After what felt like giving birth I was barely able to pass gas. I’m on my second round of softeners. SOS. Save me please.

I’m so miserable. I even gave up leaving the house. Which meant I sent Hubs to grocery shop. I love the man but sometimes I wonder how he survived on his own. I guess it explains why he was mainly eating rice, oatmeal and steaks when we met. The man can not remember more than 3 items at a time.

I made a list. A list that actually lead him through the store from start to finish if he followed it. I gave hints, brands and considered pictures. Finally I managed to shove him out the door with threats of eating summer sausage, ham or baby carrots for the next week. He only called once- in a complete panic. He couldn’t find one item and another had an ingredient he wasn’t happy about. Crisis averted he finally made it home. He was so proud until he realized he forgot my potty helper. Poor guy. He did SO good otherwise.

This of course set me off on a hormonal roller coaster where I became convinced that I had ruined everything- the holiday, his weekend, his time off, his rest, his life. He came home, accidentally closed the door on his finger, cursed and found me sobbing. Good times. Is this crazy train almost over? I am ready to be a normal human again, thank you very much!

I have to schedule a meeting with a urologist in 2 weeks- let’s all keep our fingers crossed that my body doesn’t try to rebel. A tube inserted into my back for the remainder of my pregnancy or a stent do NOT sound like happy plans.

Hell-o Hormones

Ya’ll, today was NOT my best day. I am clearly having a crazy pregnant lady day.

I started off trying to find a facial cream. I had been using this cream for a while- it was for ladies going through skin chances. It was AMAZING. I have pretty sensitive skin, so finding something that doesn’t make me break out OR have an allergic reaction is hard. Then they discontinued it! I bought all they had on the sales rack a year ago and I finally just ran out. I started off at Target. Target has everything, right? Wrong.

While at Target I also stopped by the maternity section. I was pretty let down. Not only did the maternity section at this Target have barely anything, nothing was over a size medium. What?! They no longer even have a ‘Womens’ section. It’s currently the clearance hell. I found one wrack with a few tents .. erm.. I mean Plus Sized Blouses. As I was standing there muttering to myself this older woman walks over. Figuring she was trying to get by I walked to the other side of the rack. She clears her throat and says, “Target really doesn’t cater to people… you know.. your size. Extended needs.” EXCUSE me?! I glanced around and sure enough she was talking to me. I muttered something about them also not catering to us women that are expecting. A growing baby bump requires more room than a size medium. She tittered nervously and I stormed away feeling awful.

We left the store and continued my quest for a face cream. Figuring Ulta caters to beauty I tried there, plus it’s right next to Motherhood Maternity. Another let down at Ulta and hubs was getting flustered by all the sales ladies that kept asking him if he needed help. Finally I turned around, stated he was with me and as we were both clearly adults we would ASK if we needed help. Time to leave that place! We walked next door to Motherhood Maternity. Why am I looking right now?

1. I’m a bigger girl. I already know finding normal clothing can be a hassle, finding me sized pregnant lady clothing would be worse.
2. It was right next door
3. This morning my mid range jeans felt like a corset and my larger jeans that previously needed a belt were snug.

So into motherhood maternity we went. There was some REALLY cute stuff here. But, alas, I quickly realized that the Plus sized section was hidden in a back dimly lit corner. There was exactly 2 blouses, 2 tshirts, 1 pair of mom jeans, a HORIZONTAL striped dress and a handful of lounge pants. Uhm… Okay? WTF? Am I supposed to wear the same shirt and creepy wide leg jeans for the remaining months? I stood there and started exclaiming that clearly this was the wall of shame. I’m not expecting to be a fashion goddess but COME ON! I live in Minnesota for pity’s sake. Thing PJ pants and a tshirt are not going to cut it. They didn’t even carry jackets over a size Large.

I’m feeling like a bundle of crazy lady nerves. Helllllpppp

Chub Rub and The Meal Plan

That sounds like some really weird band name. I dunno…

I wanted to talk a bit about something that tends to plague a lot of us big gals: Chub Rub.

At least that’s what I’ve always called it. You know when you get hot and sticky and you chafe yourself? Mmmhmm. That nasty little rub rash,  carpet burn, angry as all get out -skin?Chub Rub!

If I’m being totally honest I blame chub rub for why I started wearing boring clothes. I used to wear skirts, shorts and tank tops a lot. As I got bigger things started rubbing- skin to skin, skin to fabric. I used to get this really bad on my inner thighs. I would toss on a cute skirt and run out for the day. By the end of the day my inner thighs were either rubbed so badly I was bleeding and waddling, or I would have huge sores. This is SO painful and so embarrassing. Especially the sores, which can scar. I have a LOT of scaring on my inner legs and under my arms. So, I gave up skirts and shorts unless I was wearing something like leggings or tights with them. Because I changed my ways I haven’t had this issue in a while. Until a few months ago. I was spending a lot of time lounging so I unearthed some old tank tops. For some reason around the turn of the year I had a really bad case of chub rub. I’d been wearing tank tops under my sweaters and I think I just rubbed myself too badly. The issue became so bad it got infected. I had to go twice to a Doctor to have them drain my armpit. It was horrible. I remember laying on this tiny reclining chair that I swear was made for a twig and I sobbed my heart out. With little more than Lidocain numbing me,  they cut my arm open in 8 places and used their fingers to probe and drain. Let me put it this way, I’ve had kidney stones that I would rather pass again than go through this.

Most people don’t get it so badly, but I wanted to share a few things I’ve used to combat the more basic type which can result from your workouts!

1. Gold Bond: This is basically a “medicated” powder. Genberally the medication in it is considered menthoyl as it helps cool and soothe.

2. Baby powder: easy, cheap but hard to hide on dark clothing.

3. Lanacane Anti-chafing gel: even my husband uses this! it’s a gel that turns powdery and works pretty well

If you are worried about infection see a doctor immediately!!! After I sought treatment I used gauze to keep the area dry. I also purchased Hibiclens. I routinely wash the areas that I worry may become infected, with this wash. Anyway, this is what I have found works for me! Please seek a doctors advice before you try anything new! Also, if you have any ideas to combat this ouchie, lemme know!

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Food for thought:

I feel like I did SO much better with my food today. I wasn’t having constant feelings of hunger! In fact I actually ate my meals later than normal because I just wasn’t hungry!

Breakfast: Pizza omelette! : 4 tablespoon egg whites, 2 teaspoons “sauce” (tomato paste, water, garlic powder), 2 tablespoons mozzarella cheese + 6 oz mixed fruit

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Shake: “Apple Pie” shake: 1 cup 2% milk + 2 scoops protein powder + 1 tablespoon sugar free apple sauce + cinnamon

Lunch: 2 oz steamed chicken + 2 cups mixed greens + 1 tablespoon vinaigrette + dash of 2% fit & active cheddar + 1/4 cup roasted carrots

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Dinner: 2.5 oz pork chop marinated (olive oil, lemon, pepper, paprika, cumin, garlic, rosemary) + asparagus + 1/2 cup plainly mashed potatoes + small side salad

Snacks: 4 reduced fat wheat thins, apple with peanut butter, and considering a peach frozen yogurt later!

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Exercise:

I joined a virtual workout group! Monday and Wednesday are Zumba and Tuesday and Thursday are yoga. I haven’t decided if I will do the yoga. It only started this week so we had Zumba today instead of waiting!

I did 20 minutes of yoga using 3 shorter videos! I used my arm weights for 15 minutes. It’s amazing what weights will do! I tried them on a normally super easy set for me. I was sweating like a fiend and found it a bit more complicated! Always like increasing things!

I followed up with a short 10 minutes working with just the weights. I really like the weights I got. I actually snagged them at a thrift shop for $3! I can strap them to my arms, legs, or just hold them!

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OH! I almost forgot! I took my wrap off my pooch. I actually saw a 2.5 difference from 2 measurement points (1.5, 1). I will report if there is any additional change after 72 hours. They say sometimes ya bloat in the first 24!