Hi! My name is Jess! I am a 26 year old woman who is currently living in Minnesota! This blog is used to document what I can only hope will be my road to becoming more healthy!

My story:

I’ve always been bigger. As a kid and teen I was really active- I was in the color guard, did cheerleading for a while and I was ALWAYS out and moving., I was never skinny but I was healthy. When I went to college I went a little insane. There was all this food and beverage I had never really been allowed to have. Those healthy meals the school claimed to serve? Yeah, never saw them. The kitchen was always stocked with mac n cheese, pizza, fried chicken and well, you get the idea. I gained 35 lbs. When I decided to transfer out I  joined Weigh Watchers. I went for a while and lost about 12 lbs. What ruined the effect for me was out leader. She was SO skinny. Skin and bones if truth be told. When she finally shared her weight loss store I wanted to smack her in the face. She shared her trial of losing the 15 lbs that got her the way she was. In my opinion she was TOO skinny. She didn’t look healthy. and really 15 lbs?! I needed to lose half of me to be considered healthy. I was so disgusted I never went back. I continued to gain weight as I turned 21. Parties, alcohol and constant eating out were a big factor here. I had no self control. If my friends were eating then I felt I should be too.  I slowly edged up in weight, though I was in complete denial about it. My clothes were shrinking, stores were selling smaller items. Lies. That next year my child nephew Michael died unexpectedly of brain death from a severe asthma attack. I was heart broken and ate my feelings. I became severely depressed and shut out everyone. When I was 23 my mother also died unexpectedly. I had spent the past few years being her primary care provider. She had been very sick but I never expected her to die. Because I had been on vacation when she went into the hospital I blamed myself. I came home early and spent weeks watching over her. They moved her from the ICU and we were told if nothing else went wrong she would be home in 2 weeks tops. Being young I was frustrated that we were spending 8 hours there every night and all she ever did was sleep anyway. The next day I took the day off. I needed some me time. We agreed at that point to switch off days between my dad and I because even he was exhausted. So I was mad at her if I’m being honest and I didn’t go to see her. My day was the next day and for whatever reason my dad decided to come with me. We decided to go early that morning. They had had a nice “date night” the night before watching movies and eating dinner together, holding hands in the dark. She asked him to make sure I came earlier so she would be more awake. When we got there the nurse blurted out that she had died that morning and no one could get a hold of us. My heart broke into a million pieces. My selfishness had kept me from ever seeing her again. SO as you can imagine I lost my mind. I ate a lot- hiding in my room. When I finally surfaced a it from my grief I decided I needed a change. I moved to FL from PA to be with my long time fiancé about 5 months after mom’s death.  We were living our lives and again, tragedy struck. 4 months after my movie my fiancé had a heart attack. He was 36 at the time, days away from his 37th birthday.  I am thankful every day that we happened to be a 5 minute drive from the hospital- he lived! This sent us into healthy life style mode! We did really well with this. He lost about 20 lbs. I didn’t really lose anything but I enjoyed learning how to cook things with less fat, carbs and sodium. We were married August 20, 2011. Two weeks before this I suffered from angina and ended up in the hospital. I weighed 285lbs I was told. WHAT THE HELL. I was in absolute denial. In some ways I am glad we only had a small dinner party. What little photos we have from that day are awful. I look like a blob. I had NO idea. two weeks after our wedding my husband lost his job. It was our sole income while I was trying to get back to school. We couldn’t afford to live where we did any more and hub’s father was just renovating a house in NC. He needed help. In 2 weeks we packed up, sold or trashed everything we owned into 2 cars and headed to NC. That lasted for about 6 months. Jobs were scarce and living there wasn’t working. Hub’s mother agreed to take us in. We moved to MN in 2012.

Cue to more recent months. In late February 2013 I went to the doctor for a persistent cold. When I was weighed I came in at about 251. I had lost 34 lbs! I finally decided that it was time to change. Since then I have gone from a completely sedentary life style to including activity 7 days a week. I now alternate between walking, zumba and strength training. I aim for at least 30 minutes a day. I eat a much healthier life style full of fruits, veggies and lean meats. I’m working on lower my intake of bad fats, cholesterol, carbs and sugars! SO there you have it the long winded version of my downfall and subsequent re-birth into a new me. I have a LONG way to go. I’m okay with that. It’s a life style not a miracle! Follow along, join in, give and receive support!

Current weigh: 243

Mini goal: 239 by May 26th- My cousins wedding. This will put me at 46 lbs lighter since the last time they saw me!

First Major Goal: Onderland!!! I haven’t seen Onderland since I started Highschool!

Ideal: 135


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