It’s been a while

Hello world! We’re still alive here!! Life has been just insanely busy.

Kiddo had her first birthday in March~ Insane. How is my baby 1?!

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We’ve had a lot of fun things happen. We had my best friend come stay with us. We’ve joined a mom group & joined in on some fun play dates. Lilly and I have spent a LOT of time at the park.

The park has been a great thing. Up until the warm weather kicked in, my weight became stagnant. No matter what I hate or did, not one pound came off. Since we’ve started the park, I’ve lost about 13.

This past weekend we visited family in GA. Lilly got to spend time with never met family. She also went into a pool for the first time. It was amazing. Hopefully I’ll get the pictures and video.

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And now for a little bit about me.

It’s amazing what the world looks like when you finally start coming out of a prolonged depressive episode. You guys, I was seriously depressed for 6 years. I’ve made a good show of acting like all was right on the outside when inside I was pretty broken. Time with kiddo has really started to lift my spirits. Getting outside in a physical way has also helped A LOT. I recently joined a mom group and that helped for a bit.

But things got weird. I made a friend in the group. Our kids are days apart in age. I was SO happy to finally have a friend near by. I’ve been pretty alone. Especially for the past year or so. Hub’s changed jobs a while back and that left me pretty much on my own 5 days a week. Then he expressed needing some “him” time. So we set up weekend shifts on who dealt with kiddo. This allowed him a few hours to work with his tool collection and me time to catch up on things that I put aside.

Anyway, I made that friend and then just as suddenly as I met her, I lost her. I still have no idea what went wrong. She let us come over during some work being done at our building. The owners asked everyone to leave the parking lots. It was supposed to be to fix the lots, but all they did was fill the worst of the holes and fix the area around the drainage system. That night she was sending me links to homes for sale in her neighborhood. The next day when I went to confirm plans, she had blocked me on Facebook. I’ve been pretty frustrated and sad. Especially when I realized I’d left some thing behind at her home. Attempts to get them back have been totally ignored.

This whole experience has been weird and hard. I’m sad. I started feeling myself slipping back into that depressive state. The place where i made myself not care. I stopped wanted to do things. That isn’t fair to my daughter. But it’s also not fair to me. I’m left questioning the group where I met this girl. My first attempt at a new friend and play date resulted in all this confusing drama. If I’d done something, I would be able to process it. Instead I’m left to wonder? My attempts to get help from the group have left me feeling uneasy. I’ve tried to be low key with the admin, but was basically brushed off. I think I’m going to work on finding another group.

On another topic, I’ve been taken off my insulin. I’m still sick, but I can manage it with pills. I’ve been managing for about a month and I am ECSTATIC to be syringe free!


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