All the Small Things

Today is my shower!

Is it horrible to say I’m actually incredibly freaked out!? I don’t do well with having all visual attention on me. I get weird even opening holiday gifts from my husband, let alone a group of women I don’t know well or haven’t met often. Ohhh Boy. But I am excited, so we’ll keep our fingers crossed I don’t melt down!!

The only real concern I have at the moment comes from my appointment yesterday. I had 2 appointments in a row. First I had my bi-weekly OB appointment. This began my stress levels. I mentioned more kidney stones and then was left to wait in the room by a nurse for over 20 minutes. Considering I used to wait upwards of 4-5 hours in PA- 20 minutes is nothing. But, and there is always a but, I began getting stressed because I also had an appointment immediately after my OB. This appointment was at another clinic across town AND it was snowing and icy out. SO there I sat, stressing about getting to my other appointment on time. Thanks to years of working with someone on a tight schedule- I am a stickler for punctuality. It turns out my doctor was beyond annoyed that the urologist office she referred me to was jerking me around. She apparently was late coming in because she was making calls. I appreciate it but eventually when the nurse came in to check my BP I let her know I needed to leave in 10 minutes with or without seeing them. Of course my BP was high. 145/95. ACK. The insisted on checking it again in 10 minutes. Now I had performance anxiety to boot. I had also gained a significant amount of weight. Note to self, always take off shoes.. screw laziness.AND I was passing a kidney stone. What did they expect?! My BP was still elevated at the second round and they called ahead to my next appointment to be evaluated there. SIGH.

The minute I got out of my appointment Hubs was already stressed. He was worried I was in so long, worried about the driving conditions and annoyed my next scheduled appointment was in such a shotty time. None of this helped me calm down. As it turns out- stressing about time was a non issue. My next appointment was running 15 minutes behind anyway. The nurse that was supposed to evaluate me got fed up and left to help other patients because no one told her I was still in the waiting area. I finally got my appointment in. Little One was doing swimmingly. Despite my mental whiplash, she was having a chill day in the womb. Must be nice.

I ended up having my BP taken twice more while at my ultrasound. It didn’t get much better. I had to sit in the waiting room until further notice. It was decided that I had to be put on light activity and bed rest. Jooooy. There was a discussion about my being induced early. Hello, oh you are stressed? Let’s add a heaping load of OMG!

I will be monitored 3 times next week. Should be fun.

SO you can see, on top of my shower anxiety, I also will have all of the above. I was told by the Dr that I was to basically sit in a chair and let everyone and everything come to me. Because that will help with the people anxiety for sure!

SOS, Send me chill pills and hugs

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