Messy Monster

2 posts in 2 days?! gasp!

I think pregnancy perks in the world needs an overhaul.

1. If you live in a place with known bad weather (like wicked icy winters) a pregnant lady should have special parking. DO you have any idea how harrowing it is to get to an appointment by myself this winter? I’m prone to falling on a flat dry surface on a normal day. When I pull up to somewhere, have to park halfway down a row of 20 cars and then toddle my way across an ice skating rink- shit gets real. I’ve developed what I refer to as my “John Wayne Walk”. Basically imagine you’ve been in the saddle for too long and you are bow legged. That’s me walking anywhere with possible ice. And I’m slow. Hubs could lap me in a parking lot. I hate winter. For real.

What happened to Expectant Mother Parking?! Do you know how many of those I have seen/used? One. At Babies R Us. My next comment may sound rude- but hear me out. I grew up with a mom that was handicapped. Most days she was in a wheelchair, some days she could walk like she wasn’t even sick. MS does that to you. We spent a lot of out time discussing about parking/handicap accessible stores/rooms/entrances/hotels. I get how frustrating it can be. While I am well aware that being pregnant is NOT a handicap, there are times I realllllly wish I could park in one of those spots in an emergency. Not to abuse it, but to NEED it. Take my Doctors office. There are 8 handicapped spots directly up front. Then in the parking lot where us lower folk park, there are an additional 6 or so. NO ONE ever parks in them. EVER. Believe me, I’ve had enough appointments to see them always empty. The place specifically caters to ultrasounds for pregnant women and has a ton of doctors for kids and pregnant ladies alike. I’m sure a new mom would LOVE to have easier access parking. While the drop off zone is lovely, we don’t always have a chauffeur to drop us off.

2. Wouldn’t it be magic if towards the end of your pregnancy, the pregnancy fairies sent you a cleaning lady for special occasions? For example: I’m hosting Christmas Eve again this year. My home looks like the messy bomb went off and laid claim to it all. I have a dishwasher full of CLEAN dishes, a sink/counter full of dirty. My table is covered in ads and coupons. I haven’t moved my vacuum in so long that I’m fairly certain the dust bunnies have taken it to a better home. I have a stack of laundry almost as tall as me. Frankly I’ve become LAZY. And to be honest, I don’t care. Bending over or standing makes me have gimpy leg that I mentioned in my last post. Numb legs, big fat body and cleaning doth not a winner make. Sorry Family- that’s probably a piece of string or lint and not a spider.. I hope.


That’s basically how I feel most days. I wake up with energy and the intention to clean. 10 minutes in I’ve cleared one room and am dragging my leg like an extra from The Walking Dead. I give crazy props to anyone that works while pregnant. My body hates me on a normal day. Growing a human hasn’t made it love me any extra.

A conversation with hubs goes like this:

Me: We should clean!

Hubs: uh..huh.. yeah…

Me: Okay so, what room do you want to tackle?


Me: Aliens are having snickerdoodles on the kitchen sink!

Hubs: uh..huh…yeah


Hubs: What are the plans for tomorrow?

Me: I figured we could tackle most of the cleaning, maybe?

Hubs: Oh.. well.. okay. I just feel lazy right now. We can do it later!

3 days later…. nada

Also I think it’s fair to mention that I was sick pretty much most of November. Not “I’m pregnant-woe is me” sick. But actual sick. Nothing too life threatening but enough to drive me nuts. First I had a kidney stone. Not something new for me but not exactly pleasant. I didn’t go to the ER because I am stubborn and cheap. I rode it out at home. Which as it turned out was dumb. 2 weeks later I felt awful. I finally went to urgent care and they found a huge amount of blood in my urine. I ended up having 2 different infections. A week of monitoring and meds and I though I was good to go! Wrong again. The day after Thanksgiving I was back in Urgent Care. About 2 years ago I got an infection in my under arm. What started out as an inflamed hair follicle turned into a HUGE raging infection. I ended up having my arm cut into a total of 10 times on 2 different occasions and drained. It was painful and very stressful. I haven’t had an issue since, until this past time. I used a different razor, shaved and 2 days later what I had assumed was razor burn was now looking more like infection. I immediately went to the doc this time around to avoid the trauma from last time. We lucked out with the meds working. unfortunately I spent 2 MORE weeks on meds. My arm was basically taped to my side to avoid friction and pain. I’ve now been meds free for about a week. Let’s hope nothing else insane pops up and I can resume a somewhat normal life again. I’m a mess.


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