The Stone that Would Not DIE

Hiya folks!

Recap… Last I checked in that pesky stone was living large in my body on Monday. Christmas eve- 2 hours before family was due to arrive I was shaking in pain, hadn’t even moved from my bed, had stopped eating and drinking and spent a whole lot of time crying.

A return trip to the ER had me admitted this time. SO much for sticking out the holiday. I spent my entire Christmas in a hospital gown hooked to an IV. It was so depressing. Christmas eve I cried half the night. I was on heavy pain meds and had many tests. There were talks of horrible procedures. Some so awful I actually opted to stay in a day longer just to avoid the possibility. I’ve been home since Friday evening. I’m exhausted. I still hurt- though at this point I can’t tell if the pain is kidney, hip/back or constipation times 1000.

Real talk ya’ll… I haven’t used the potty in DAYS. Like.. A WEEK. Today After what felt like giving birth I was barely able to pass gas. I’m on my second round of softeners. SOS. Save me please.

I’m so miserable. I even gave up leaving the house. Which meant I sent Hubs to grocery shop. I love the man but sometimes I wonder how he survived on his own. I guess it explains why he was mainly eating rice, oatmeal and steaks when we met. The man can not remember more than 3 items at a time.

I made a list. A list that actually lead him through the store from start to finish if he followed it. I gave hints, brands and considered pictures. Finally I managed to shove him out the door with threats of eating summer sausage, ham or baby carrots for the next week. He only called once- in a complete panic. He couldn’t find one item and another had an ingredient he wasn’t happy about. Crisis averted he finally made it home. He was so proud until he realized he forgot my potty helper. Poor guy. He did SO good otherwise.

This of course set me off on a hormonal roller coaster where I became convinced that I had ruined everything- the holiday, his weekend, his time off, his rest, his life. He came home, accidentally closed the door on his finger, cursed and found me sobbing. Good times. Is this crazy train almost over? I am ready to be a normal human again, thank you very much!

I have to schedule a meeting with a urologist in 2 weeks- let’s all keep our fingers crossed that my body doesn’t try to rebel. A tube inserted into my back for the remainder of my pregnancy or a stent do NOT sound like happy plans.

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Stoned

Or rather, Kidney stones.

Ya’ll I can NOT win. EVER.

Monday morning around 4am I woke up to an excruciating but familiar pain. Kidney stone pain. How did I know? I’m almost to the point where I don’t want to answer that question anymore. For the past 11 years I have been plagued by them. I’ve rode them out at home, endured horrible bumpy car rides to the ER and even been kept overnight.

So when I woke up to that pain, I knew this time I was going to need a little help. I woke poor hubs up and off we went to the ER. By went I mean, thankfully, we drove literally a block. God bless living next to a hospital. Of course nothing is ever that simple.

I mentioned I was 26 weeks pregnant and instead of taking me immediately I was forced to go up to labor and delivery triage first. So I dragged my pain riddled body across the entire hospital. I stripped down, got hooked up to a monitor and waited. For 40 minutes. With no help for pain. I threw up on myself, twice. I had to change gowns. Finally they believed I actually knew what I was talking about and shipped me back down to ER. The left my husband behind. I reminded the woman pushing my wheelchair about 4 times to please get him. 10 minutes went by, no husband, no nurse, no help. At this point it’s nearly 2 hours since my pain started. I admit, I am sobbing, in between being sick in my awesome blue condom shaped barf bag. I am PISSED. I am upset. I am hurting. They send in someone to register me. This would be the SECOND time someone had come to register me. Are you kidding? Finally at 15 minutes Hubs finally finds me. They forgot to let him in. He finds me throwing up, sobbing and pretty much a mess. A nurse walks by and asks another nurse outside if he needs any help playing catch up. She glances in my room and hubs tells her someone needs to get in there asap, that this is not right.

The other Nurse, let’s call him BFA (Big fat asshat) pokes his head in. I exclaim that I have been in this hospital over an hour and not ONE person has actually HELPED me. Of course being such a nice man, he juts his finger out at me, says I’m not telling the truth and goes on to try to berate me on how I’ve been here “maybe” 5 minutes. At this point I’ve been in his area for over 20. I tell him I want someone else immediately and that he won’t be laying a hand on me. He has NO idea what he’s talking about. Hubs is mad. They send in another nurse immediately.(I’ll find out later that the doctor on call had called in pain meds and nausea medication before they even brought me down from Labor and Delivery and they were made aware my status and that I was on the way). BFA proceeds to stand outside of my room and bitch about me to other nurses/staff and calling me a liar. Hubs goes out and yells at him.

There was a silver lining to this all. Baby was doing A-okay. We had the nurses in stitches over how much she was moving around. And I ended up with an amazing nurse. After I demanded the name of BFA from the nurse I got, I never saw either one of them again. I made it clear I was going to file a complaint over his lack of professionalism. I ended up with C. And C was AMAZING. She was so sweet and so helpful. She too had had many kidney stones and had them during pregnancy, which she claimed was always worse for her too. She was attentive and right on the ball with everything.

In the end I was given the option to be admitted, or since it was so close to the holiday, I could try to go it at home. I chose to go home. Here we are on Christmas Eve, I’m supposed to be hosting. Up until I began to write this, I hadn’t even left my bed. I can’t. My pain level had NOT decreased. My urine output is minimal. I have no appetite at all (which for a big preggo is nuts)and all i do is gag or dry heave. I have barely slept since Monday except following when I was discharged. Suffice to say- Unless everyone decides not to come, I’ll be heading back to the ER as soon as they all leave. Happy Holidays. Looks like I’ll be spending mine in a hospital room. Bah Humbug!!!

Messy Monster

2 posts in 2 days?! gasp!

I think pregnancy perks in the world needs an overhaul.

1. If you live in a place with known bad weather (like wicked icy winters) a pregnant lady should have special parking. DO you have any idea how harrowing it is to get to an appointment by myself this winter? I’m prone to falling on a flat dry surface on a normal day. When I pull up to somewhere, have to park halfway down a row of 20 cars and then toddle my way across an ice skating rink- shit gets real. I’ve developed what I refer to as my “John Wayne Walk”. Basically imagine you’ve been in the saddle for too long and you are bow legged. That’s me walking anywhere with possible ice. And I’m slow. Hubs could lap me in a parking lot. I hate winter. For real.

What happened to Expectant Mother Parking?! Do you know how many of those I have seen/used? One. At Babies R Us. My next comment may sound rude- but hear me out. I grew up with a mom that was handicapped. Most days she was in a wheelchair, some days she could walk like she wasn’t even sick. MS does that to you. We spent a lot of out time discussing about parking/handicap accessible stores/rooms/entrances/hotels. I get how frustrating it can be. While I am well aware that being pregnant is NOT a handicap, there are times I realllllly wish I could park in one of those spots in an emergency. Not to abuse it, but to NEED it. Take my Doctors office. There are 8 handicapped spots directly up front. Then in the parking lot where us lower folk park, there are an additional 6 or so. NO ONE ever parks in them. EVER. Believe me, I’ve had enough appointments to see them always empty. The place specifically caters to ultrasounds for pregnant women and has a ton of doctors for kids and pregnant ladies alike. I’m sure a new mom would LOVE to have easier access parking. While the drop off zone is lovely, we don’t always have a chauffeur to drop us off.

2. Wouldn’t it be magic if towards the end of your pregnancy, the pregnancy fairies sent you a cleaning lady for special occasions? For example: I’m hosting Christmas Eve again this year. My home looks like the messy bomb went off and laid claim to it all. I have a dishwasher full of CLEAN dishes, a sink/counter full of dirty. My table is covered in ads and coupons. I haven’t moved my vacuum in so long that I’m fairly certain the dust bunnies have taken it to a better home. I have a stack of laundry almost as tall as me. Frankly I’ve become LAZY. And to be honest, I don’t care. Bending over or standing makes me have gimpy leg that I mentioned in my last post. Numb legs, big fat body and cleaning doth not a winner make. Sorry Family- that’s probably a piece of string or lint and not a spider.. I hope.

messy+house

That’s basically how I feel most days. I wake up with energy and the intention to clean. 10 minutes in I’ve cleared one room and am dragging my leg like an extra from The Walking Dead. I give crazy props to anyone that works while pregnant. My body hates me on a normal day. Growing a human hasn’t made it love me any extra.

A conversation with hubs goes like this:

Me: We should clean!

Hubs: uh..huh.. yeah…

Me: Okay so, what room do you want to tackle?

Hubs:::Silence::

Me: Aliens are having snickerdoodles on the kitchen sink!

Hubs: uh..huh…yeah

OR

Hubs: What are the plans for tomorrow?

Me: I figured we could tackle most of the cleaning, maybe?

Hubs: Oh.. well.. okay. I just feel lazy right now. We can do it later!

3 days later…. nada

Also I think it’s fair to mention that I was sick pretty much most of November. Not “I’m pregnant-woe is me” sick. But actual sick. Nothing too life threatening but enough to drive me nuts. First I had a kidney stone. Not something new for me but not exactly pleasant. I didn’t go to the ER because I am stubborn and cheap. I rode it out at home. Which as it turned out was dumb. 2 weeks later I felt awful. I finally went to urgent care and they found a huge amount of blood in my urine. I ended up having 2 different infections. A week of monitoring and meds and I though I was good to go! Wrong again. The day after Thanksgiving I was back in Urgent Care. About 2 years ago I got an infection in my under arm. What started out as an inflamed hair follicle turned into a HUGE raging infection. I ended up having my arm cut into a total of 10 times on 2 different occasions and drained. It was painful and very stressful. I haven’t had an issue since, until this past time. I used a different razor, shaved and 2 days later what I had assumed was razor burn was now looking more like infection. I immediately went to the doc this time around to avoid the trauma from last time. We lucked out with the meds working. unfortunately I spent 2 MORE weeks on meds. My arm was basically taped to my side to avoid friction and pain. I’ve now been meds free for about a week. Let’s hope nothing else insane pops up and I can resume a somewhat normal life again. I’m a mess.

Plus Size and Pregnant

Hey ya’ll! We’re still kicking in here. I can’t even remember the last time I’ve posted so I assume it was a looonnnng time ago!

Obviously from past posts- I’m pregnant. Still am. We’re almost 26 weeks at this point. Crazy times. I’ve slacked on posting about baby and pregnancy as being a large pregnant lady is kind of a bummer.

You always hear about when the belly pops, people being nicer to pregnant women and all these other fun pregnancy things. I don’t think anyone that ever said any of those things was fat pre pregnancy. For real.

My belly? While firmer and larger hasn’t “popped”. At least not in the ways one would generally expect. One of the most depressing things is feeling like you don’t *look* pregnant. When you are pre fat, you just feel like you look to have eaten more than normal. With the help of maternity pants and my hideous “Lil Lift” belt (more on that later) I can achieve an almost round pregnant look when dressed. When not- hello roly poly. Ick My b belly looks like it is here to stay.

A plus side to the not looking pregnant is that no one has invaded my space by rubbing my belly. I’m not a huge fan of being touched in general so the idea of a random person touching me freaks me out. Especially with all of these yucky flu and colds raging about. No thanks- stay away! Oddly though, when I was only about 14 weeks or so, a random old woman patted my belly and said I was keeping my little baby warm. I didn’t feel I looked anything other than bloated so it was a bit surprising. Nowadays people stare a lot. Probably wondering “fatty, or pregnant…. better not say anything”.

How am I feeling? Depends on when you ask. On a normal day I feel pretty wonderful. Little snippet wakes me up around 5:30-6:30 every morning with her kung fu kicks.She’s playful throughout the day and puts me to sleep with her wallops. Active little bugger! On other days I am tired, achy and cranky. I outwardly know I’m being a cranky biotch and I generally don’t care.

Also, due to added weight, shifting and whatnot I have had some awesome leg numbness. It’s on the outer side of my right leg. It only happens when I stand or walk for more than a few minutes at a time. The numb runs from hip to knee and makes my leg feel hollow/cold/tingly/itchy/gone. It’s bizarre and can be worrisome when I know I have to drive. Cue my “lil lift” band. It resembles a white velcro version of the belts you see movers wear. It goes under my flub and around my back. It’s unattractive, often annoying and yet, it helps. My doctor’s office gave it to me so there was no added cost. I scoffed at it initially but after some time wearing it I can not make a meal without feeling like I want to cut my leg off.

I know- It all sounds so whiny. But it’s not all bad. There is a lot of good too.

I love feeling her move. She does that a lot. From about 14 weeks I felt flutters- not she makes my belly move at times. Hubs has felt her moving since about 21 weeks. The first few times he felt it were hilarious to watch!

Despite the GD my sugar has been entirely controlled. TO the point where my nutritionist hasn’t seem me in over 6 weeks. She said I would be her poster child for following the rules. My endocrinologist feels we can continue with 2 week emails and calls from now on. My blood pressure was border line until we found out I was actually sick the entire month on November. My last few appointments with various doctors have showed completely normal so let’s hope we can keep that up!

My little baby has all her parts- in the right places! She is growing at a controlled normal rate despite being drilled in my head that she was going to be a monster train wreck. She’s in the 52nd percentile.

One thing that does make me sad is a complete lack of blogs by women like myself. I found a few random blogs and most of them were several years old. Being plus size and pregnant can be lonely. People don’t faun/notice and bloggers don’t talk about it. Shopping for plus size maternity is a nightmare. Out local MM has a back wall with 3 styles of jeans, 1 style dress pants, a zippered hoodie and maybe 12 tops. There are 3 bras and 1 pair of underwear to choose from. Do you know how many jammies you can find- in store and online? ONE. And that’s a holiday seasonal item so don’t hold out hope to ever get it. AND it can be EXPENSIVE. The same non plus size jeans cost 10-20 less. I call the pLus size section at MM the wall of shame. Its in the very back of the store located behind a rack of clearance. Why do you hate us so much?

SO there you have it. As I ease into the 3rd trimester in the next few weeks I will hopefully find that nesting bug people talk about. My daddy bought me an entire nursery set. My shower should be… sometime in February I believe. I’m excited, nervous and shrouded in a sense of disbelief most days. Any other big mommies out there? Stop by and say hi!!

IMAG0720

22 weeks ish

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24 weeks