I won’t claim to be back. I don’t ‘feel back’, but I did decide update on where I’ve been.
I am proud to say I survived the holidays with no weight gain. I figure that’s a miracle in itself. Christmas Eve went off without a hitch and I realized, despite the counters loaded with home made cookies, that I wasn’t focused on what/how much I could eat next of something. I wasn’t hungry and spent more time setting things up, picking up and talking than thinking about food.
I get especially anxious when gatherings come around. As a tween I remember my mom always in my ear telling me to stop eating or reminding me on the hour+ drives not to over eat. I know she was only trying to help. In hindsight though I realize that my ravenous hunger wasn’t truly my fault. In most cases We’d travel a few hours. This meant we’d get up in the morning, get dressed and get on the road. Sometimes there would be breakfast, sometimes not. Usually by the time we got to our destination it was mid afternoon and I had not eaten AT ALL. Of course I was going to be hungry and fall like a rabid animal onto the plate of cheese and crackers.
So, when I made it through everything, I was pretty proud. We ended up being a lazy duo on Christmas day just opening gifts and playing with our new things. I got a really cute purse and lots of kitchen things I’ve been wanting. And a new vacuum from the MIL- THANK GOODNESS. The one we had before died about 10 seconds after it’s first use. New Years was much of the same.
Somehow I made it out of the Holiday darkness unscathed. It was a busy time and just from store runs and doing things around the house I was getting in my 10,000 steps on a daily basis.
Because I was so busy, I failed to notice something pretty important until the day after Christmas. I was pregnant. OOPS. I guess I should have suspected as I, the person who never sleeps, was falling asleep before 8pm most nights (among other things.) I say “was”, because as my body is want to do, we lost that baby too a little less than 2 weeks ago.
So that’s my major excuses for not blogging. I haven’t really been keeping my healthy eating plan up or really exercising regularly. I really just don’t care at the moment. I’ll be back and do it again when I’m mentally ready, right now I’m just not ready to commit or deal. It’s a slow process.
I’m trying to start a teeny bit again today- steal cut oats and cranberries as I type this! But I don’t want to commit to something when I’m in such a mood. I do plan on sharing some stories about my past struggles, things you all may or may not relate with. I hope you’ll still come around. Best of luck on your own journey!