Round and Round , Here We Go Again

Hey y’all!

Boy, do I have SO MUCH to talk about! It’s been crazy recently. There are a lot of things and thoughts going on at the moment. I can barely keep up with myself.

First off: I have been trying very hard to get myself on track. I’ve made a lot of discoveries recently that contribute to the continued trial and error of my health. When I first started this journey I was counting calories. I did really well on this for a while. However, as soon as life got more hectic, I soon found myself skipping entries and even fibbing on them. When I saw the pattern of fibbing I soon decided I didn’t care and stopped all together. The scary part is, I actually gained back MORE weight then where I started from this time last year. It’s humbling and shaming.

Another large issue I’ve noticed is the continued food issues I’ve had and have been ignoring. I think it’s finally time to see an allergist. I have been noticing a painful bloat when it comes to certain foods, but sometimes I have issues figuring out exactly what they are when I consume non-home cooked foods. I need help because this has led to a large amount of being sick.

I am also working on eating more home cooked foods. During the super hot summer days the rest of the household was not amenable to turning the stove on. There were weeks when I would eat whatever my MIL brought into the house. It usually almost immediately made me throw up.

That said, I’ve set some new goals:

– Eat more real fresh food, less processed garbage

– Stick with my portion controls

– Stop spending so much time calorie counting, spend more time finding healthier option

– Eat more small meals throughout the day

Here are some of my meals lately- nothing super amazing but yummy. I’ve been enjoying home made soups, salads, venison, wild rice and such!

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I’ve also discovered these super yummy protein power bars. Perfect for when I’m craving that bagel-ness.

(butternut squash soup + venison sausage + wild rice) ( leftover soup + mixed green salad with balsamic) ( 1/2 oz reduced fat cheddar + 1/2 protein power bar + 2 tsp  whipped cream cheese + 1/3 avocado)——-

Another thing going on in my life is our impending move.

We signed our lease on a new apartment 2 months ago. The woman that was living there gave a super early notice, which we later found out. She then opted to use her right to remain in residence until the end of her lease which was this Monday Oct 1st.

If anyone knows me, they know this stressed me the heck out. I’m a bit OCD when it comes to being organized and in charge. Being on someone else’s time table basically turns me into a nut case. In the beginning of the summer when we first thought we would be moving (and later found out they rented that place out from under us..grrr) we rented a storage space. We’d been hitting up estate sales and flea markets in search of some Mid-century furniture that would suit out taste. That space is now full and has some to us passing on some really amazing finds. My storage unit is a hell hole that is equally stressful to me,

Flash to this week. When I last spoke to the landlord last month she gave us a tentative date of Nov 1st, possibly a week earlier if everything went smoothly. When we spoke this week suddenly out move in date has been moved up to NEXT WEEK. HOLY HELL. If ya know me, then you know that I tend to pack my suitcase a week in advance for a vacation, so in this sense my mind thinks I am already behind! I spent 6 hours yesterday doing small things. Packing unused weekly clothes, sorting through a mountain of papers that needed to be shredded or filed. I packed up anything small that I could. My room looks like a nightmare. I have bags, boxes and goods in every nook and cranny,

Suffice to say, we are moving in a week. I don’t have linens, bathroom anything, moving boxes, tape or well.. half the crap I need. I’m stressing out and I have no way of getting around and doing anything myself in the days before the move. I need a chill pill.

—–

Body in motion.

This is another massive issue for me. My body is not bouncing back from the things it’s undergone recently. I’m having a lot of discomforts. It’s distracting and discouraging.

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this previously, but my family has a lot of instances of Multiple Sclerosis(MS). A few years ago I was approached because of this to join a study program. Basically I signed myself up for 20 years of services. It mostly amounted to answering long questionnaires and giving DNA samples. No big thing. Occasionally I receive articles on some of their findings based on different aspects of the study, I’ve received some weird things recently that have started my head spinning. In one study that they did on causes, I had all but ONE of the 20 or so aspects they consider high risk. In a more recently study they discussed smoking, teenage drinking and obesity. Ding ding ding. I rang all those bells too. They’ve learned that those things have contributed to accelerated diagnosis age. It freaks me out a lot. I watched 3 people I love waste away from a merciless disease. My mom died from complications, my aunt who only turned 50 last week has been in a nursing home for YEARS, a cousin is barely a shadow of his former self. I love in constant fear that that will be the life i live and thus subject my hubster to. There are days when I have “symptoms”. The thing with MS is its not super easy to diagnose and many of the symptoms or signs are often overlooked completely or attributed to old injuries or other illnesses. Some days I noticed a marked weakness in my hands and arms, other times I will have constant muscle spasms in my legs that make it almost feel like I am walking on Jello filled limbs. Other times I find myself in a mental “fog”- losing track of a sentence, saying the wrong word, forgetting a thought I just had seconds ago. There have been times when I’ve thought of something and opened a browser only to find myself staring blankly at it with no memory of what I had wanted to do.  (Actually in a moment of hilarity I had another thought on this subject and I’ve already forgotten it. sigh). Anyhow I’ve never had any formal testing, mostly because I’d rather not know either way. Ya know? If I was symptomatic I would drive myself insane thinking of all the things going wrong. If I wasn’t symptomatic then I would probably feel like I was insane.

So, that’s the crp side of things..

I do have some fun things though! I’ve been playing around with pigment and I’ve made 3 of my OWN nail polishes. Two turned out similar and the other was not exactly what I had thoght. I need better pigments to use!

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In this instance I was hoping for more of a toasty brown. I hadn’t added the warmer brown color yet.

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This color- oh man. I ended up adding black to the finished product and it turned out MUCH richer than the picture. One thing I found amazing was how long it lasted. I used to paint my nails sometimes twice a week because my daily life led to cracked and chipped paint. Hands + hot water/cleaning products/oils = fail. However, with this polish- I did everything I normally do and then some and it lasted almost 8 days! Even when I decided to change it out, it still looked nice. The only reason I took it off was because my cuticles were showing a lot. I was utterly blown away by my first tries!

 

So, now you are all caught up, or mostly. I realized this was already insanely long, so.. yeah.

Hope everyone is doing well and staying focused!

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