When Does it Get easier?

 It’s shaping up to be a hard weekend.

In general weekends kill me. I tend to get out more physically, but I also have a lot more down time too. There are too many people home for me to do my normal things. I get out of routine which totally breaks me. Food is a constant weekend struggle. As we spend most normally eating hours on the run we eat as we can. I try so hard to be on guard with what I eat. Struggles. Sometimes I wish I had chosen a different day than Monday to weigh in. I was down 1.5 lbs today! I’m sure that will vanish over the weekend!

This weekend is also hard as Sunday is Mother’s Day. I was doing an excellent job until I went to get my hair cut this afternoon. As usual, an overly chatty stylist was gabbing away about how her daughter was ungrateful and she’d had to go out and buy these expensive steaks and was making her daughter come over and cook. I sort of listened without comment, until she asked what my plans were. I tried for a curt, “nothing”. She kept pressing me. ” Oh, you’re one of thooose daughters..”. Finally I looked her in the eye in the mirror and said, ” NO actually my mom died so I don’t have much to celebrate.” That shut her up pretty quickly. Last year I was forced to go to a family gathering with my husband’s family. In all honesty I wanted to stay home and not look at all the happy family stuff. No one gets it. They can say they do,  but they don’t. I still remember the first year. She’d been gone less than 5 months and I stopped in to buy a card for my cousin’s wedding. I was accosted by a sales woman who kept trying to shove MD stuff on me. She was getting to the point of rude and annoying when she mumbled something about me being a bad daughter. I flipped out on her explaining that my mother had died at the end of January. It’s almost sickly satisfying to see some stupid ignorant person swallow their own foot.

SO yeah, sore subject for me. I could use some support this weekend. I am trying my damnedest not to fall back on old depressing habits.

IN more weight loss related things: We walked 2 miles today and are planning an evening walk! Not much to report on food. I had egg whites, turkey bacon and fruit for breakfast, a buffalo chicken skinny sub with lettuce and banana peppers for lunch. I bought a HUGE salad for dinner wiles with mixed greens, bell peppers, broccoli, bean sprouts, and slivered almonds for dinner. That sucker weighed .85 lbs! I figure that should last me a few meals!

I’m sorry if I’ve been negative and down lately. I have so much going on right now. Between a meeting with our lawyer next week, gearing up for a cross country travel, wedding expenses, tackling pain, exercise and watching what I eat. Also I tend to be the only one who cooks,, plans meals, grocery shops  or even cleans. I just feel sort of frazzled and alone. No one is really being supportive of the weight loss. Every time I think I’m making progress with someone they turn around and make a pizza or want to make 600 calorie pasta dishes. I want to advance my exercise more but I don’t really know how or what to do. Ahhh- I hate being stressed. I want to eat when I’m stressed!

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