End of the Month

Today marks the end of April! For those of you who are like me, I hope you will continue with your journey! If you are a veteran to the blogging and getting healthy world I hope you will continue to stick around to inspire us all!

Today also marks the final count down to my cousin’s wedding. She’s getting married in Rhode Island on memorial day weekend. Yeah, talk about a cost and traffic nightmare. We are travelling halfway across the country for this shin dig. I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. I don’t have a close relationship with my family. For majority of my life we didn’t live near anyone. I only got to enjoy day to day life with family until I was about 7. Then we moved to PA and for years no one lived within 4 hours of us. My sisters are my half sisters so I only got to see them once or twice a year until we all got older. When my cousin and her family moved closer things never really improved. In fact I can admit to being really upset about having to visit or spend summers there. I always felt like an unwanted intruder. My 2 older cousins never showed much interest in me and my younger one was about 9 years younger than me and a boy at that. Usually every summer my mom would ship me off for family time. This usually meant my Aunt would enroll us in some awful camp program. I hated these. My cousin and I are total opposites: She being thin, sporty and outgoing, me being fat, shy and more into books.The camps were a sure form of torture for me. I was clumsy and bad at sports and I didn’t know anyone.

I remember on most occasions my cousin would generally tune me out. I can look back and think to the times when she would have friends over and they would lock me out in the hallway. I soon learned not to bother my Aunt. She was one of those people who thought kids shouldn’t go out to eat with adults, or be with them instead of the other kids. I used to sit in the hallway and my book after being told I wasn’t welcome in either area. If I chose to sit somewhere in view of adults I would be questioned as to why I was being so unfriendly. This always killed me- I was the one being treated like crap. Suffice to say our relationship is more acquaintance than family. There are a LOT of underlying issues between our two sides of the family that I won’t even go into, but you get the idea.

Why am I even bothering to go to this wedding you ask? Well, sometimes it’s easier to suck it up and go along than deal with the mountain of drama that would be dropped upon me. I can suck up one day of being judged on my chosen life. Whatever.

SO back to the semi-point of this piece. We are DRIVING to the wedding. Ignoring the fact that a train or plane would be far to expensive (about $500 per person + baggage fees + a car rental) vs. renting a car. It’ll cost us about $150 for a weeks long rental + gas- it will cost about the price of ONE plane ticket. There are two bigger factors than all that.

1. My fat butt + 2. My Husband’s stent from his heart attack.

Number one is the worst for me. I am always terrified I will be asked to pay extra or be treated badly. This stems from the last flight I ever took. I was flying to FL to visit Hubster. Because I lived in a small area I had to take a puddle jumper to Philly airport. I had NEVER had any issues before. I flew all the time. I passed through security with ease and figured I was smooth sailing. The plane they put us on was even smaller than normal though. It was the type that the row I was in, 2nd, was faced by the front row. I got in settled into my seat and buckled up.  There were much larger people than me on the flight. For some reason the flight attendant singled me out right away. She came over and loudly asked if I wanted me extender. I replied that I was fine and did not need one. The belt was a big snug but nothing that would warrant needing another. I figured that was the end of it and returned to the book I had. She moved on. After she finished handing out the extenders she walked up to the front and asked everyone to raise their arms so she could perform a seatbelt check. I had never seen anyone do this in the 20 + years I had flown. I complied. She stopped my me and announced that I needed to life my shirt. She said my gut was obscuring her view. I was mortified and said there was absolutely NO way I was lifting my shirt in front of a plane full of people. She told me I would be removed and the flight would not leave until I did so. I inched my shirt up enough to show her I was properly clicked in. I had NO issues here so why was she making one. She marvelled about how she was sure I had been lying about being able to fit. I just remember everyone staring at me. The older gentleman next to me patted my hand and told me “kindly” that perhaps I should consider not eating so much.

That was the last flight I’ve ever taken- aside from the flight home of course.

he second issue is purely hubby. He has a card for his stent but with all the elevated security and his young age people are usually suspicious that it is real. STUPID ignorant people. So we don’t fly.

This whole wedding thing stresses me out. Aside from travel we are staying at the only hotel that didn’t cost over $200 a night when we have to stay 2 nights. I bought 2 dresses for this thing and now I am worried neither will work!


The navy dress is from Kiyonna. I got it at an adorable plus sized boutique here in Saint Paul! It’s a 14/16 sweetheart neck wrap dress. I’ve never worn a wrap dress before and am a little scared I might go busting out of it! The coral dress is hard to see but it’s lace overlay. with a keyhole back. I fell in LOVE with this dress. It had a total retro vibe to it. It’s a 14/16 and is actually a little big. The next side down was too snug in my chest though! I got this at Dress Barn. Then I found out the wedding is Formal attire. *bangs head on desk* I figured I would take both dresses. I have cute silver wedge sandals that work with both. My MIL is going to lend me her pearls. DO you think these 2 dresses would work?! Are they okay enough for a formal event?!

Also I have been trying to find something fun to do with my hair that works for either dress. One of the issues I’ve had is that my hair has always been super fine. I’m recovering from a bad haircut to make matters worse. A simple trim ended up with over 4 inches cut off! I bought hot rollers and they would not even stay in my hair! UGH! I’ve been toying with different ideas. Any ideas from readers would be.. great. My hair is just slightly past my shoulders mostly straight but the ends get wavy.

Oh- to keep with the whole “weight loss” theme. Those dresses I mentioned? Smallest size since I graduated high school. Last year I was wearing size 24! So take that, fat body!

More on actual daily life later!


2 thoughts on “End of the Month

  1. It sounds like you’re doing great. Unfortunately, the treatment you received on the plane was TERRIBLE! I think I would have walked off the plane and then demanded an extra free ticket. It probably wouldn’t have worked, but I just can’t believe the treatment! Both dresses are great, BTW!

  2. Sorry to hear all that stuff with your family and how it made you feel. That’s crappy. 😦
    I love the red dress. My vote is for that one! How about curling your hair, would that work?

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