DO you use a gym?

So I’m realizing with the weather still all over the place and my current limited home space I need MORE.

What I want more than anything is a trainer. Someone who will kick my butt into shape. Or at least help me understand the things I may be doing wrong. Sometimes I feel like I am flying by the seat of my pants with this. There are good days and bad days. Today I woke up and weighed myself. I do it every day so this wasn’t much of a surprise but I finally broke through my plateau again. Albeit a small break but I busted that solid wall of frustration. 243 lbs.

I haven’t really started my morning yet except for some research and meal planning. I am currently deciding the pros and cons of a gym. In my younger years I was bigger but very strong. I visited a gym every day. I took classes, did cardio and for a while had a trainer. Unfortunately my trainer was more into the perk of picking up chicks than actually helping me. I’d paid for help 3x a week from him- that was the most my gym at the time offered. I loved this gym. It was specifically made for folks who actually want to get healthy not just show off how skinny or built they are.  It was affordable and I had this “trainer”! After our first initial visits- weigh in, measurements, goals and expectations things went to hell. Let’s call him HS for “hot stuff”. HS was big, strong, nice and super funny. I was really excited about our plans. I was positive we were going to kick this beast. At that point I wasn’t nearly as far away from my goals as I am now. I was fresh out of high school where I had been very active with friends, part of the color guard in the marching band and a whole mess of other things like dance crew and cheerleading for a brief time. HS started me out on a mix of cardio and strength training, at first being an attentive hard as$. I killed myself to do as he asked. Evetually I noticed his wandering attention. There I would be huffing and puffing, full of questions and HS was…gone? Eventually I realized that after I had managed to get his GF a job with me he lost interest fast. I had nothing else to offer him. I remember one day not understanding the work out he had set me up on, it was totally new and I was confused. I had paid him for my hour session and had lost him after about 15 minutes. I was wandering around trying to find him to ask for help and there it was..HS surrounded by a bunch of gym bunnies. He was chuckling that he had managed to escape the “clueless, no hope fatty”. I knew it was me they were laughing at and I was mortified. So I fired him. Eventually the gym fired him as well. I kept  going on my own until my then 8 year old nephew died and I went a little depressively crazy. Cue 5 years later.

I’ve been pricing gyms in our area. We are living on one income for various reasons so a gym is a luxury item I have to think hard about. Do you use the gym? If so is there any main stream ones you like better than others. Because here’s the thing.

I want a gym I like, with a staff I like. I always feel like when I go to the gym it looks like


Warehouse 13. This cavernous place full of torture devices that I have NO idea how to use. It’s like one false move and I look like


flopping on my side like an idiot. Then While I’m still stinging from my humiliation there I am puffing away


feeling like


Why god whyyyyyy?And then I look to my left and this biotch is there

Image and I lose all hope.

I need some place worth the cost, the time and the energy that won’t make me want to go hang myself from my uber tiny gym towel. I get that it’s not a miracle but there should be some good in it right?

Sound off! More later on Day 2!


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