End of the Month

Today marks the end of April! For those of you who are like me, I hope you will continue with your journey! If you are a veteran to the blogging and getting healthy world I hope you will continue to stick around to inspire us all!

Today also marks the final count down to my cousin’s wedding. She’s getting married in Rhode Island on memorial day weekend. Yeah, talk about a cost and traffic nightmare. We are travelling halfway across the country for this shin dig. I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. I don’t have a close relationship with my family. For majority of my life we didn’t live near anyone. I only got to enjoy day to day life with family until I was about 7. Then we moved to PA and for years no one lived within 4 hours of us. My sisters are my half sisters so I only got to see them once or twice a year until we all got older. When my cousin and her family moved closer things never really improved. In fact I can admit to being really upset about having to visit or spend summers there. I always felt like an unwanted intruder. My 2 older cousins never showed much interest in me and my younger one was about 9 years younger than me and a boy at that. Usually every summer my mom would ship me off for family time. This usually meant my Aunt would enroll us in some awful camp program. I hated these. My cousin and I are total opposites: She being thin, sporty and outgoing, me being fat, shy and more into books.The camps were a sure form of torture for me. I was clumsy and bad at sports and I didn’t know anyone.

I remember on most occasions my cousin would generally tune me out. I can look back and think to the times when she would have friends over and they would lock me out in the hallway. I soon learned not to bother my Aunt. She was one of those people who thought kids shouldn’t go out to eat with adults, or be with them instead of the other kids. I used to sit in the hallway and my book after being told I wasn’t welcome in either area. If I chose to sit somewhere in view of adults I would be questioned as to why I was being so unfriendly. This always killed me- I was the one being treated like crap. Suffice to say our relationship is more acquaintance than family. There are a LOT of underlying issues between our two sides of the family that I won’t even go into, but you get the idea.

Why am I even bothering to go to this wedding you ask? Well, sometimes it’s easier to suck it up and go along than deal with the mountain of drama that would be dropped upon me. I can suck up one day of being judged on my chosen life. Whatever.

SO back to the semi-point of this piece. We are DRIVING to the wedding. Ignoring the fact that a train or plane would be far to expensive (about $500 per person + baggage fees + a car rental) vs. renting a car. It’ll cost us about $150 for a weeks long rental + gas- it will cost about the price of ONE plane ticket. There are two bigger factors than all that.

1. My fat butt + 2. My Husband’s stent from his heart attack.

Number one is the worst for me. I am always terrified I will be asked to pay extra or be treated badly. This stems from the last flight I ever took. I was flying to FL to visit Hubster. Because I lived in a small area I had to take a puddle jumper to Philly airport. I had NEVER had any issues before. I flew all the time. I passed through security with ease and figured I was smooth sailing. The plane they put us on was even smaller than normal though. It was the type that the row I was in, 2nd, was faced by the front row. I got in settled into my seat and buckled up.  There were much larger people than me on the flight. For some reason the flight attendant singled me out right away. She came over and loudly asked if I wanted me extender. I replied that I was fine and did not need one. The belt was a big snug but nothing that would warrant needing another. I figured that was the end of it and returned to the book I had. She moved on. After she finished handing out the extenders she walked up to the front and asked everyone to raise their arms so she could perform a seatbelt check. I had never seen anyone do this in the 20 + years I had flown. I complied. She stopped my me and announced that I needed to life my shirt. She said my gut was obscuring her view. I was mortified and said there was absolutely NO way I was lifting my shirt in front of a plane full of people. She told me I would be removed and the flight would not leave until I did so. I inched my shirt up enough to show her I was properly clicked in. I had NO issues here so why was she making one. She marvelled about how she was sure I had been lying about being able to fit. I just remember everyone staring at me. The older gentleman next to me patted my hand and told me “kindly” that perhaps I should consider not eating so much.

That was the last flight I’ve ever taken- aside from the flight home of course.

he second issue is purely hubby. He has a card for his stent but with all the elevated security and his young age people are usually suspicious that it is real. STUPID ignorant people. So we don’t fly.

This whole wedding thing stresses me out. Aside from travel we are staying at the only hotel that didn’t cost over $200 a night when we have to stay 2 nights. I bought 2 dresses for this thing and now I am worried neither will work!

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The navy dress is from Kiyonna. I got it at an adorable plus sized boutique here in Saint Paul! It’s a 14/16 sweetheart neck wrap dress. I’ve never worn a wrap dress before and am a little scared I might go busting out of it! The coral dress is hard to see but it’s lace overlay. with a keyhole back. I fell in LOVE with this dress. It had a total retro vibe to it. It’s a 14/16 and is actually a little big. The next side down was too snug in my chest though! I got this at Dress Barn. Then I found out the wedding is Formal attire. *bangs head on desk* I figured I would take both dresses. I have cute silver wedge sandals that work with both. My MIL is going to lend me her pearls. DO you think these 2 dresses would work?! Are they okay enough for a formal event?!

Also I have been trying to find something fun to do with my hair that works for either dress. One of the issues I’ve had is that my hair has always been super fine. I’m recovering from a bad haircut to make matters worse. A simple trim ended up with over 4 inches cut off! I bought hot rollers and they would not even stay in my hair! UGH! I’ve been toying with different ideas. Any ideas from readers would be.. great. My hair is just slightly past my shoulders mostly straight but the ends get wavy.

Oh- to keep with the whole “weight loss” theme. Those dresses I mentioned? Smallest size since I graduated high school. Last year I was wearing size 24! So take that, fat body!

More on actual daily life later!

Day’s Progress

Today was a bit of a roller coaster day. We’ve talked about accountability but I wanted to share the yummy meals I had today!

Breakfast: 3 medium strawberries +  Oolong Tea unsweetened + I slice Ezekiel Bread with half Laughing Cow Mozzarella Sun-dried Tomato & Basil wedge + egg substitute omelette with spinach & the remaining Laughing cow = 178 cal

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Lunch: Small Salad with mixed greens & one teaspoon home-made vinaigrette + 13 baby carrot sticks + 1 tablespoon guacamole + white tuna in water, drained & 1 tsp guacamole. (NOTE: Maybe I didn’t use enough, maybe I didn’t put other flavors but the tuna mixture looked and tasted as gross as it probably sounds. I had high hopes but really I just shovelled it in to get it over with. Gahhhh) 321 cal

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Dinner: Mixed Greens & Spinach salad + chick peas +  plain sunflower seeds & pine nuts + 1/2 cup blueberries + 1.5 oz chicken breast plain + home made dressing. 448 cal

I didn’t get a picture of this one. The cats were swarming the scent of chicken. Half way though my meal I got up to get something and dumped my salad bowl on the floor. Butter fingers that I am. Hubby was having a steak tonight so he offered me 2 oz of his. That was included in the above caloric count and it was probably lower cal than shown as I never did get to eat the rest. Major bumsville because this salad was awesome and filling!

I did some interesting shopping this weekend. One of my biggest set-backs in when I miss something from my fatty days. We used to eat at Einstein Bros Bagels many a weekend. I used to order an asiago bagel or green chile bagel with sun-dried tomato and basil schmear.  One asiago + the schmear = 440 cal alone. I sometimes  ordered two. Mannnn…. So, I looked for the lesser evil I guess we could call it. That one wedge of Laughing Cow tastes so much like the schmear and it’s only 35 cal. Pretty much all the nutritional info on it is better too! The Ezekiel bread is no doughy bagel but it is filling and it is yummy so I can accept that. Another noticeable change is my omelette making. Before I never paid attention to how much butter I used. Okay, I admit I still use a teeny weenie bit of real butter. Have you ever tried making an omelette on a mediocre pan with margarine, which BTW is filled with crap usually? I use butter for now. I would guess I probably used at least a tablespoon or two before, now I use a sliver equal to a quarter tablespoon. I also used unsalted now

I am also really glad to see a little bit more agreement when it comes to nightly meals! They had originally suggested gnocchi with brown butter sauce. I spent a small portion of this afternoon trying to figure out how I  could make that even remotely healthy. Luckily MIL wasn’t interested in having it either and suggested salad with lots of yummy things! I swear I could eat salad all day all the time!

I did have a bit of a booboo moment this morning. As I stated above the breakfast is about 178 cal. Shortly after breakfast I decided to do some Calisthenics. I was still feeling pretty pumped after 10 minutes and segued into my Zumba routine. At the end of 20 minutes of Zumba I was buzzing. I realized I had burned way more calories than I had taken in. I was a sweaty mess or tired. I crashed pretty hard. Protein Shake time!

Image I love my Blender Bottle. If you actually look closely I was wanting some flavor power so I added a bit of my sugar free peach jello. It didn’t turn liquid like I had figured. If you’ve ever had bubble tea this is what it felt like in texture. It was super yummy and added some interest. Not bad overall!

Today’s Exercise:

10 minutes Calisthenics

20 minutes Zumba- High impact

15 minutes of bustling around cleaning.

I generally only include cleaning when I break a sweat. Changing sheets on a Queen sized bed against a wall when you are 5’3″ is like a marathon! Plus everything else I did. I didn’t count any of my steps or walking today but we took a stroll around cool Wal-mart as well. I figured since I included cleaning as exercise I would only include one!

See you tomorrow! OHHH! I wanted to say a quick thank you to my new followers and those who have been liking my posts! You rock and I promise to visit you all soon! Big thanks to Grace from gracegothealthy.com! I am a huge fan and was glad to see you are feeling better! I was super excited that you decided to follow me! Fan girl moment!

Okay! Bye for real this time! Seriously… get off your butt and do something!

Accountability

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Seriously. One of the biggest challanges I find for me is following through on weigh-ins! I weigh myself every day. I know this is a compulsive habit. Ideally I would like to do weigh-ins once a week. I’ve been meaning to do this for a while now and I sort of just let it slip on by.

Here’s my confession to you all. If I don’t like the number, I will avoid posting it. I do this a lot. Sometimes I will see an increase that has me stomping my foot in frustration. Of course this also has to do with the whole weighing myself every morning. Our bodies fluctuate a lot during the day. I also need to accept that a half a pound difference is NOT the end of the world.

So this is a call to arms ladies and gents! Accountable Mondays! Monday is pretty much the anti-christ day of the week, but hey let’s make it a little more hellish! Who’s with me!?

I’ll start this off right:

Starting Weight: 285

Today’s Weight: 243

Both these numbers are a really bit punch in the gut to me. Every stop on the scale is a nightmare. Just seeing this I know I can’t give up. To day I have lost 42lbs. In terms of body change- this is an ever evolving monster. The biggest things I’ve noticed is that my hips are slimmer and my stomach is slowly deflating. I no longer look like I’m 7 months pregnant. Yeah buddy! So please, if you happen to read this and notice me shying away from weigh ins kick my butt. comment, email, message me! No more denial!

If you really want to make a little supportive team I am on both Lose It and MyfitnessPal as Jcanaday86! Right now my only friend is my SIL so .. yeah.. friend me? (insert puppy eyes here)

In holding myself accountable I did not blog last night! I didn’t fall of the wagon though! Actually yesterday was a pretty good day. I’ll do a little fill in!

Breakfast: Rice Chex + 1/2 cup skim milk + 2 large strawberries sliced

Lunch: 1 Tbs Wholly Guacamole + 10 carrots  + 2 slices of Ezekiel low Sodium bread + 1 Laughing Cow Mozzarella Sun-dried Tomato wedge

Dinner: Big ol’ mixed veggie salad ( spinach, mixed greens, broccoli, bean sprouts, red bell pepper strips, shredded carrots,  and a table spoon of shredded cheddar) + 2.5 oz. Rotisserie Chicken breast skin removed + splash of my home make dressing and tabasco. Warm belly!

Dessert: I dont ever have dessert but Oh man.

If you live in the Saint Pail/Minneapolis area high-tail it to Freestyle Yogurt.

08red-400x600 (This isn’t mine. I found it from their site to give you an idea of what I am talking about!)

Last night I was SO cranky- that’s partially why i didn’t blog). It was so warm and muggy that Hub finally packed me up in the car like a little kid and drove for a while.  The fatty in me wanted ice cream SO badly. I looked up Dary Queen just to see. The Blizzard I always got? Over 400 calories and over 30g of sugar. Holy buckets. No thanks. I was thinking maybe I would try one of the frozen Greek yogurts at the grocery, but honestly I was a little bummed over it. Enter Freestyle Yogurt. We were around HarMar in Roseville and Hub pointed it out and asked if I was interested. Ding ding ding!!! We went in and they are a self serve place with TONS of options from insane to healthy. They had nutritional info on their wall! Their website has LOTS of information too! You can check it out –HERE-. Anyway, I ended up getting the skinny vanilla. Even still I went really light on what I put in my cup. I topped it off with slivered almonds. At the last second I added a teaspoon of caramel sauce just to be insane. Once you’ve filled your cup you go up to the weigh station. You can pay the 45 cents per weigh or take a chance at spinning their wheel. The wheel has lots of price options below and above the set price range. Of course my hubster HAD to spin. I was convinced we’d be paying the super high price . Round and round the wheel went. Finally it stopped… on.. FREE. Oh man. This meant we got one of the cups for free. When all was said and done We paid only $3! How can you beat that?! Even better? The whole snack was only 150 calories and less than 7 grams of sugar! I think I liked it even more than my Dairy Queen stuff. Overall I was super happy!

The rest of yesterday was pretty nice. It was a little rainy off and on but nothing terrible. Hub wanted to visit a store that had a bass guitar he wanted to look at and fiddle around with a bit. It was SO hot in the store I was actually getting sick. It was 74 degrees out and they had the heat on. Jayzus. I decided I would take my chances outside. I ended up walking around. First I looped the building and he still wasn’t done. I decided to get a little walking in while I waited. I ended up walking all over the place. I got a mile in! When I finally got back to the store Hub was standing outside wondering where the heck I had been. OOPS. Who would have ever though I would actually ENJOY walking so much that I lost track of time?! Not me- but that is exactly what happened!

That’s all for now! More later on my daily check in! Remember: accountability! Hold yourself responsible to sticking to those goals and weigh ins! And feel free to kick my butt if I don’t! Hasta luego!

It works!- Or does it?

Last night we went to that wrap party I mentioned previously. The product is called “It Works”. It’s basically a line of items to remove the toxins from your body. They have a pretty large range of products. Most popular are the wraps themselves but they are not the only things sold. You can get anything from herbal Anti-Stress formulas to joint support. They have items for anti ageing, skin care and a whole array of supplements and  nutritional boosters. It’s a lot to take in. It’s also pretty spendy- at least for me.

The packages cost a pretty penny by through a dealer you can buy single wraps at a time. I had originally gone with the intent of doing my arms. Ya know, clip my wings? Those awesome flabby curtains I call arms. ICK. Before going the recommend things like ex-foliating, drinking half your body weight in water and all sorts of things. I usually drink a lot of water anyway but half my weight. That’s about a little over 15 glasses. Oh mama! Hellloooo potty runs.

We got the sales pitch and I discovered that you could cut this any way you liked and use it on various body parts. After reading things over I decided to give it a go but I wasn’t sure I wanted to do my arms. I saw I could do my chin. Oh yeah- say goodbye to droopy chin flab! I had planned to buy just the neck one until I fully understood how it worked. $10 for a neck or $30 for a full. With the neck they cut a portion off and give that to you. With the full..well clearly you get the whole thing! I pitched the $30 for the whole thing. I figured if this actually works I can try other parts or do the neck again!

The recommend things like taking measurements and pictures for reference. I take bi-weekly measurements anyhow so this was no big thang. My neck is one of the only areas I haven’t seen any progress so it’s easy to remember! Then came the picture. I hate pictures. I tend to avoid camera because really who wants to step out of denial to see what a blog you’ve become?

Ya’ll ready for this? Behold my slope. I don’t have a neck. From the front it looks so different. The side is a horror story!

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I HAVE NO NECK. HOLY MOTHER…

So.. you are supposed to pretty much drink a ton of water and then put this “wrap” on. Guess what folks? Sometimes they don’t want to stay on! DO you kn ow what they use?! Plastic wrap. yeah.. plastic wrap.

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So sexy. Meoooow. I am the instant life and comic relief of the party.

The recommend you leave it on for 45 minutes or longer. So for 2 hours I sat with plastic wrap around my head- in front of a bunch of people I’d just met for the first time. I have no shame. All I can say is this better work!

One you are thoroughly wrapped up in silliness they encourage you to drink more water. Once you take it off you may see results. There is sometimes bloating in the are in the first 24 hours and by 72 you can try again or you may see results. So far I have seen a half inch INCREASE in my beck. I’m going to hope that’s the toxic releasing bloat. Please oh please!

I have a ton of pictures to share including my SIL’s before pictures and some after shots. I will share those after the 72 hours and give my rating on this!

 

More later on the meal plan for the day!

Bouncing Back

Yesterday was hard for me. SO many things went wrong that I could have easily reverted to my old ways and saw it as a sign to quit. I didn’t though. I had to take a deep breath and realize I am not perfect. It’s hard to have a bad day.I also have to realize that when i totally limit myself I set myself up for failure. I feel like even though I took a step in the wrong direction I did a few things right.

I didn’t let myself go overboard: I was able to enjoy something I really wanted. I did so by removing unnecessary things and eating less of it!

Today was great. We started out with a yummy breakfast I mentioned in my last post. We had some errands to run and it was so pretty outside. One of the hardest times for me is the weekend. My husband works 10 hour days during the week so we don’t really get to do much on weeknights because he is usually dead on his feet by the time he comes home… 10 hours on your feet working machines ALL day plus a 45 minute drive to and from work- ick! Weekends mean we get everything done: groceries, errands, fun time, whatever.

We had driven out into the tiny town my MIL works in so there were not a lot of options for lunch ideas. We knew we were headed to do some grocery shopping and that we had to have lunch before hand. It’s so hard to find something affordable and healthy sometimes. Especially when you are in a small town with nothing more than fast food and coffee shops. We found a place that made sandwiches. I hate places like this because I tend to go a little insane when asking for what I want. Their selection was pretty small and I was getting a little panicky. Luckily My Fitness Pal had this place listed- it was this or McAtery Clogger’s. The people here were pretty good and humored my requests. They had a shaved turkey sub with lettuce, cucumber slices, avocado, prevalone, tomatoes and Mayo. It was pretty much the only thing that did not include breading, frying, bacon or just something I wouldn’t even want to eat. I asked to have the Mayo, tomatoes (ewwww, i hates) and cheese removed. They put the avocado on the inside of the meat and added tons of lettuce for me. I was able to hollow out the bread. . When I was done nit picking and torturing it to death it was only 140 cal. I’d reduced the sodium by about 3/4. I could deal with that! Even still, I only ate about half- I was totally full. I notice that my appetite is slowly starting to shrink! Wee!

By the time we finished running all over and grabbing some goodies I was raring to go again! Hubby decided to take me to the Science Museum of Minnesota! I was a little more spendy than I wanted but it turned out the be a lot of fun. We visited 3 levels full of fun play things and Dino Bones! It’s totally hands on which I found really cool. We were good people and used the stairs a lot. My legs are going to kill me tomorrow!

On the way home we passed by this super huge version of our tiny grocery store. We decided to stop in and I ended up finding an awesome salad bar. $5.29 per Lb. They had premade salads and then a station to build your own. I ended up making my own. The selection of items was fresh and plentiful. I ended up FILLING this monsster container. I figured it would be over a lb.. maybe. Turns out that sucker was .66 lbs. it only cost me $3.49! THREE..FORTY..NINE! Holy buckets!!! This thing is at least 3 meals worth and I got not only spinach and 2 lettuce mixes, but broccoli, carrots, chick peas, bean sprouts, and red bell pepper strips! squeeee!

In general I eat a lot of salads so this was awesome for me I usually end up spending about $15-20 on stuff for my salads- not including dressing. Sometimes more if I can’t find everything I want. This will usually last me about 5-6 meals depending. In all it costs about $3 per salad meal that way. If I did this salad bar 3 times a week getting what I got today it would cost me about… $10.50. That would make me roughly 6 larger salads and 3 smaller salads costing about $1.16 each. Holy savings bomb! I make my own dressings because store bought is so awful usually! Savings for the win!

My SIL invited my MIL and me to a Body Wrap party tonight. Apparently they claim to easy away cellulite and shrink stuff. I know it’s a scam and I knoooow It won’t work but I agreed to go. I’m more going for the time out with other females. We moved to MN a year ago. Since I left PA3 years ago I haven’t had a boat load of female friends. When I left PA to go to FL we had Hub’s friends and their female halves. I loved them. Plus my BFF Ang was only a short 45 min flight away so I even got to see her. My Mom’s side of the family all lived about 45 minutes away too so I had a great deal of support. After Hub lost his job we couldn’t afford where we lived so we moved to NC where his Father had just moved. He was renovating a house his new wife had inherited and needed a LOT of help. Living there in a cute tiny town was pretty neat. I brought me even closer to Ang but we didn’t know a single soul otherwise. It was a town full of more old than young people and they had that whole Anti Northern vibe. Living there didn’t work out long, jobs were scarce and Hub’s dad is NOT the easiest man to live with. We didn’t get along. His religion and family values really clashes with how I was raised and it just didn’t work. We were very grateful that they gave us a home when we needed it. My family is scattered and my father is in the process of moving so we decided to relocate to Hubs old stomping grounds. His siblings, mom and the like are all here or close by. His mother offered us a home while we got back on our feet. So as you can see- I’ve moved 3 times in 3 years. I don’t have any friends near me unless you count my female family. I’m really excited to get out tonight! I even made sure to leave myself some free calories incase she has snacks. There are supposed to be some healthy goodies as this is for looking and feeling good!

Anyway, that was more long winded than I had planned! If they will allow me to take pictures I will post some next time! Either way I’ll give you an update- I figure if anyone is interested in firming your skin and this actually works I may as well share!

Sorry no pics tonight I was just way too busy! Until tomorrow

Damage Control

After yesterday’s fall of the wagon- Okay really I fell off and then burned the wagon- I weighed in.

244 lbs. So I gained a pound. Let that be a lesson, self. Have some willpower! I am back on the straight and narrow this morning. Egg scramble and Ezekiel for the win. It’s a really low cal meal, even with fruit. With a paid it’s 222 cal. It keeps me full and happy.

I decided to go a little low key this morning – 10 minute Zumba with Sunshine. She was a huge help in making me get off my butt. I started researching “big girl Zumba”. The real classes were too long and too hard for someone who had been as sedentary as me. Her spirit is pretty awesome. She’s got a different Youtube page now but this is one of the ones with her original videos. She’s pretty awesome. The actual video is only 10 minutes long with 2 minutes of chat. The workout is only 8 minutes but I usually begin with some warm up marching and shimmies before I even start the video and most often I keep dancing for a few afterwards. It’s light and simple for someone who needs to start small. I’ve advanced past this now but when I want a low cardio day with the plans in strength training I at least try to get one or two of these short ones in!

Now, lets talk about something pretty common in over-weight folks. Exercise induced Acid Reflux or Exercise Induced heartburn. I am one of these people. It doesn’t really matter what I’ve eaten or when I eat in respect to when I work out. I’ve tried working out before meals, hours after meals, eating light meals or liquids. Nada really stops it. When I was really active my doctor had me on  pills to help. None of them really did it for me. He recommended I take a simple antacid before I pumped it up. Another suggestion he gave me was adding a tiny bit of Baking Soda to my  Liter of water I usually keep with me on workouts. This worked like a charm. I have to be careful about most antacids because they contain calcium which causes me kidney stones. As someone who has had no less than 15 visits to a hospital and one actual hospitalization over them I try to avoid triggers. The tiny bit of baking soda with my big old water bottle is like an instant soother. You do need to be careful though if you are trying to keep low sodium. This does add some to your diet.

Also I am NOT a Doctor so PLEASE speak with a professional if you have this issue. I am in no way trying to treat or diagnose you. You may have some serious medical issues or reactions so please be safe! I simply wanted to share what works for me and let you know you are not alone!

With that said one of the reasons this happens is from shaking and jiggling of the gut. This can cause a backward flow of those gastric juices. Oh the things I learned while in nursing school. EW. Consider low impact exercises for a while. And guess what?- It is estimated that about 13% of athletes have some form of reflux issue so it’s not just you. Seek help from a medical professional but don’t lose hope!

You Play, You Pay

Today was a mixture of awesomeness and epic failures.

It was the first actual Spring day we’ve had. It hit 65! Off went the heat, open came the windows and at 8:30 AM I was chomping at the bit to go to the park!

I started off my morning with oatmeal + 1/3 cups of cranberries and fresh blueberries. I normally prefer something the the items I’ve spoken of before but I decided to branch out.

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It looked SO yummy. I couldn’t even finish half of it. It was only one serving and I got SO fully I swear it kept expanding in my stomach with every bite. I quit halfway through thinking maybe I would nibble on it as I got ready.

We decided to hit this great park near us. There was not a cloud in the sky today! Everything is still a sickly winterized brown but it usually perks up fast here. I hope the last of this nasty winter is truly gone.I took my handy dandy pedometer with me. We walked a small portion of the park- about a mile and it was downhill, uphill and flat terrain. I got a mix of everything. I have to say this was a really proud moment for me. We tried walking this last year and I was so fat and so lazy that a quarter of the way through I had a full on asthma attack. I was wheezing so bad I was convinced I would die. Not only did I make it the whole first part of the walk, I made it UP the hill with only being slightly winded and by the time we hit flat terrain I was fine.

I only had one issue with the whole time: my shoes. I usually wear wide shoes. I’ve always bad big fat feet- it’s a family thing. My dad calls our feet Flinstone feet. Apparently from weight loss and water weight my walking shoes are actually a little loose! Who knew? Not my until I got what can only be described as carpet burn from my socks. Owwie!!! We actually headed off to buy me some new socks after our walk! *facepalm*

Being on the go I didn’t think to bring my protein shake with me for my after workout yummies. I was STARVING. We  were already pretty far from home so we decided to brave eating lunch out. We his one of our usual haunts with out favourite waitress Molly. She is so great! I ordered a small Aztec Chicken Salad. It’s 1/4 grilled chicken sprinkled in cayenne over a bed of lettuce. It’s got black beans, tortilla  strips, red bell pepper strips and a chipotle dressing. I ended up getting the dressing on the side and pulling off the tortilla strips. No need for those. I used about a teaspoon and a half of the actual dressing. I decided to go over the deep end and order some Clam Chowder. It’s SOOO bad but their make it fresh daily and it is chalk full of fresh veggies.  To give an idea- this plate was about 1.5 cup of lettuce

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Right after we ordered I had something really strange happen. I went off to the rest room to wash my hands, while I was in there I suddenly felt like I had gotten punched in the chest. I had this pain but it wasn’t my heart. It was so hard to explain. I felt horribly nauseated and I panicked a bit. This really didn’t help because when I panic I tend to get shaky and sweaty. So not hot. I came out and told my husband that I didn’t want to alarm him but something was wrong. (Some how I’m always conscious of others even when I may be about to drop dead) My mom had died of a Pulmonary Embolism. This was the first thing that flashed through my mind. See? Panic.

After his heart attack Hub had to take classes. He was checking my heart rate and a few other things while trying not to call too much attention to me. I told him that if he needed to call an ambulance I was appreciate it if I could move somewhere where I wouldn’t been in plain view of everyone. You know, that whole “fat lady having a heart attack” thing. UGH. Luckily though this was my body being totally STUPID.

I have an issue with my diaphragm. Sometimes it clenches when I get a bad case of acid reflux. I realized I had forgotten to take ANYTHING this morning before we marched all over the place, Combine that with a small but dense breakfast and my body decided to get very Diva on me and say “Helllls NO”. I took an Antacid and pretty much prayed. Within a few minutes of this and my water I was totally fine. I’ve never had anything that bad happen before and I’ve had some pretty nasty tummy issues. It was really scary at the time but I felt like a total ASS afterwards. SO stupid.

I relaxed for a while to make sure it wasn’t anything more serious. I even popped an aspirin just to be safe. In all the insanity I only at my salad and a bit of my soup before I gave in.

In totally I walked about 2 miles today. We went everywhere and really enjoyed a gorgeous day. Around dinner time I was craving fish. We are landlocked so seafood isn’t a normal thing to find easily. We still haven’t hit the grocery store so I knew we would have to eat out again. Ugh. It is SOOO hard. I try to stick to grilled and steamed items but I was SO not having another salad. While we were driving around we noticed a new to us crab shack. IN central MN? suuuure. We decided to take a leap of faith. More like a leap of a steep rock covered cliff.

We sat down and I really almost fell out of the booth on the prices. First of all the menu options were VERY limited. The healthy choice was limited to salmon and steamed broccoli. I figured the salmon, but they were out.Ugh. I ended up getting coconut shrimp. I know-crap choice. But hear me out. My item was one of the only things that was under $20. Their menu mostly consisted of these giant platters that started at $25-$44. WTF!!!. This wasn’t a fancy place. It was a bib wearing, loud music playing, “here’s a roll of paper towels to clean your hands” type of place. So I got the friggin shrimp.

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Welcome to my fried hell. I ended up peeling the coating off the shrimp. I tossed the coleslaw and sauce. So I ate my plain soggy shrimp and one fry. Just one. I got to say I ate some fries. haa. Our waiter looked like Apolo Ohno and was WAY too obnoxious for my taste. He wasn’t really good at his job and he cracked too many stupid borderline rude jokes for my taste. Being a tool doth not will me over. My stomach is already rebelling on this one. It was a bad day in the fatty world. I don’t even want to weigh in tomorrow… but I will.

 

Do you have splurge days?

 

 

That Moment..

I had this gleeful and really immature moment today. I decided to share it because I have found a lot of people still struggle from High School bullying horrors.

When I was in school I had it double hard. Not only was I one of the few bigger girls at my school, I was also the only Hispanic one.

Example: When I first moved to PA I made a friend named Danielle. She invited me over after school one day. Apparently her ignorant mother just assumed I was a migrant worker’s child. She tried to convince Danielle to not invite me over, but Dani insisted. Imagine her surprise when my mother showed up to take me home that evening. Mommy showed up in a nice car and a power suit from her high executive job. 

Yeaaaahhh

Oddly enough despite both of these things I was never hounded by bullies. There were a few. Occasionally I would walk down the hall and hear someone snicker “thunnnder thighs”. For the most part I ignored it- this happened maybe once every few months. There was one kid as time went on who was pretty rude. He would often make comments about how jiggly I was or something equally dumb.

OKay Cue to today. Sometimes I still wander around Facebook to see what old HS folk are up to. I stumbled upon my old nemesis. HE. IS. FAT. I know it’s not nice and it sinks me right down to his level but I had a really long chuckle. As I scanned over pictures of his wobbly alcohol filled belly and double chin- I FINALLY let go of some dark shadow deep inside me. I don’t think I even knew it was there to be honest. He never crossed my mind over the years, but I guess his taunts were always ijn the back of my head. This perfect person could be just as imperfect as I’ve felt my entire like.

I ..am…human.

*fistpump*

No changes in weight or measurements today. We will see how things go. Weekends are the hardest for me

 

Day 2: Struggles

I think the hardest part of getting healthy is my lack of a support system. I’m basically doing this alone. There is no cheering squad or anyone to hold me accountable except for ME.

Earlier this week I had a discussion with both my MIL and SIL. I explained why it was SO important for me to have healthy meals and snacks. We discussed ideas and even planned to have prep days and to make our own seasoning mixes for easier use. I was super excited that we seemed to have finally crossed the boxed food hurdle.

This morning started off slow because my SIL was making her breakfast and she tends to puttz in the kitchen. Soon I smelled the unmistakable smell of.. BACON. I wandered out, sure I was wrong. Low and behold SIL was making not one but two back egg and cheese sandwiches. I actually had to leave the room because even the smell makes me a little sick to my stomach now. Even when I get a craving for something totally off the books I know from experience now it will mean hours of agony in my stomach. SO.. I waited.

Today I upped my walking to 1 1/4 miles. Not a huge leap but enough to have my legs burning a bit. I capped today off with reverse flyes, bicep curls, leg lifts, back kicks, crunches and high steps. In short I kicked my own booty today. I worked up an awesome sweat.

Today I finally remembered to take some pictures of things!

I forgot my breakfast. I was too freaked out by all the bacon grease to make my brain work. I ended up having:

Egg white omelette + spinach + Ezekiel Bread + Peanut butter + Medium Pear

This is actually a pretty standard breakfast for me. Occasionally I will splurge with a half slice of cheese or have some oatmeal instead. I’m coming up to the end of my week so grocery shopping is needed! You might notice I eat a LOT of spinach. I tend to be anaemic- the type where you can take real gold jewellery and use them to draw black marks all over my face and hands. I find eating a bit of spinach each day keeps that in check. So there ya go!

For lunch I had: 2.5 oz steamed spicy chicken + 2 cups Spinach + a balsamic dressing I make and keep on hand. One tablespoon or less does the trick most days!

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This is a basic look at what I use to whip up my daily meal. I use about 1/2 tsp of: Honey (I just have this old jar shown but I use a locally sourced honey), peanut butter, and optional Golden’s brown mustard. 1 teaspoon of Organic coconut oil, and one Tablespoon of Balsamic Vinegar.. Toss in the micro for 30 seconds or until oil melts whisk and put in the fridge until everything is ready to go. It thickens up really nice and has a sweet tangy flavour. A little goes a long way here so you will often have extra!

 

After my mid afternoon workouts I like to toss together a protein shake. I love EAS. I’ve tried others but I like the flavor and the way it works with a ton of different flavour profiles.

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I almost always have some sort of 2 % milk with the EAS Whey Protein. Today I have something of an Almond Joy. I added a teaspoon of Swiss Miss Powder left over from the fatty winter + a drop of Along Extract. A drop is ALL you need. I got this awesome Blender Bottle at Walmart last week. I just toss it all in and shake. A snack and arm exercises! Wooo! Oh! Be sure to toss the powders in LAST. I found the get stuck at the bottom otherwise and the ball whisk can not scrap the chalky bit out!

After I was all tired and clean from my walk and shower I drank about half the shake. At this point my MIL was home from work and was snacking on a big sugar covered doughnut. So much for that healthy life style. Sigggghhh.

I talked to my other SIL this weekend. She’s been trying to get healthier as well. One of the issues she’s had from her weight loss + child bearing + yoyo dieting is saggy skin. She invited me to a body wrap party. I’m not going to hold my breath but I agreed to go with her. What do I have to lose, other than maybe an inch or two? I’ll let ya’ll know how that goes- HA-HA.

Dinner this evening was a bit of a collaboration. I found a really low sugar real fruit marmalade recently and I have been dying to try it on something. I found a recipe on the Cooking Light website. I adapted it a bit to suit my tastes- more ginger, no salt, low sugar jam, water and lemon instead of wine. I cooked that up with some broccoli. My MIL had been wanting cornbread stuffing. This was my super splurge of the evening. I rationed it out to a half cup serving for myself. The fun part was instead of using as much jam, I added fresh plums for some flavour and juices! SO yummy! about 450 cal

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The pork was SO juicy and basically that came from the it’s own juices, the plums and the water/lemon mix.

In total today I am 862 cal under my daily limit. Included in that are 2 snacks: Apple slices, sugar free peach Jello. I’m not sure I even want any of those so I may just remove it from my list!

Sorry that my pictures suck. These are on my handy dandy android.

I’ve been making a list of topics I’m hoping to cover. Is there anything you’d all like to talk about?

Keep moving ya’ll!

DO you use a gym?

So I’m realizing with the weather still all over the place and my current limited home space I need MORE.

What I want more than anything is a trainer. Someone who will kick my butt into shape. Or at least help me understand the things I may be doing wrong. Sometimes I feel like I am flying by the seat of my pants with this. There are good days and bad days. Today I woke up and weighed myself. I do it every day so this wasn’t much of a surprise but I finally broke through my plateau again. Albeit a small break but I busted that solid wall of frustration. 243 lbs.

I haven’t really started my morning yet except for some research and meal planning. I am currently deciding the pros and cons of a gym. In my younger years I was bigger but very strong. I visited a gym every day. I took classes, did cardio and for a while had a trainer. Unfortunately my trainer was more into the perk of picking up chicks than actually helping me. I’d paid for help 3x a week from him- that was the most my gym at the time offered. I loved this gym. It was specifically made for folks who actually want to get healthy not just show off how skinny or built they are.  It was affordable and I had this “trainer”! After our first initial visits- weigh in, measurements, goals and expectations things went to hell. Let’s call him HS for “hot stuff”. HS was big, strong, nice and super funny. I was really excited about our plans. I was positive we were going to kick this beast. At that point I wasn’t nearly as far away from my goals as I am now. I was fresh out of high school where I had been very active with friends, part of the color guard in the marching band and a whole mess of other things like dance crew and cheerleading for a brief time. HS started me out on a mix of cardio and strength training, at first being an attentive hard as$. I killed myself to do as he asked. Evetually I noticed his wandering attention. There I would be huffing and puffing, full of questions and HS was…gone? Eventually I realized that after I had managed to get his GF a job with me he lost interest fast. I had nothing else to offer him. I remember one day not understanding the work out he had set me up on, it was totally new and I was confused. I had paid him for my hour session and had lost him after about 15 minutes. I was wandering around trying to find him to ask for help and there it was..HS surrounded by a bunch of gym bunnies. He was chuckling that he had managed to escape the “clueless, no hope fatty”. I knew it was me they were laughing at and I was mortified. So I fired him. Eventually the gym fired him as well. I kept  going on my own until my then 8 year old nephew died and I went a little depressively crazy. Cue 5 years later.

I’ve been pricing gyms in our area. We are living on one income for various reasons so a gym is a luxury item I have to think hard about. Do you use the gym? If so is there any main stream ones you like better than others. Because here’s the thing.

I want a gym I like, with a staff I like. I always feel like when I go to the gym it looks like

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Warehouse 13. This cavernous place full of torture devices that I have NO idea how to use. It’s like one false move and I look like

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flopping on my side like an idiot. Then While I’m still stinging from my humiliation there I am puffing away

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feeling like

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Why god whyyyyyy?And then I look to my left and this biotch is there

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I need some place worth the cost, the time and the energy that won’t make me want to go hang myself from my uber tiny gym towel. I get that it’s not a miracle but there should be some good in it right?

Sound off! More later on Day 2!